I am

Lonely

Alone

Sad

Tired

Relationships aren’t the end all be all

They aren’t the happily ever after

They are whatever they are

All different

All unique

All their own thing

Being in one doesn’t make everything else perfect

Or even better; necessarily

It doesn’t

I know this

But I know how financially it does usually provide some ease

And I know how even just the complacency of habits that you create within a relationship provide some stability and familiarity

Which in their own way, even when toxic, can be comforting.

And I know I’m fine single

Capable

Smart

Just fine

But I catch myself feeling like the Loren Allred song “Never enough”.

And I hate it

Because I want to be this big ass tough bitch that can do whatever I need to do to survive and thrive in this world

And yet….

I’m just a woman

Wanting love

Sometimes

And the comfort of my own person.

Pathetic, naive, juvenile, idiotic

I’m sure many more words too

Can be said here

But I have to accept that sometimes

This is how I feel

And it’s ok to feel this way.

It’s all ok.

💋