I naturally gravitate towards narcissist. I, like most of humanity, fall for their charm. Although I am keenly aware from the very beginning of their unique flaws. The thing is that, with my easy going way, it doesn’t bother me greatly to put up with their shinanigans; on a limited basis.
Some of my best bosses were extreme narcissist. I actually really enjoyed working for them because they were very clear in their expectations and even when they were outlandish, it was a challenge I generally enjoyed. As I get older though I have a more limited acceptance towards them. But is this a good thing or a bad thing?
On the positive side, I am establishing clearer boundaries for who I want in my inner circle and narcissist just don’t fit the bill. I mean, I do have three children, two of whom are teenagers so I have enough narcissism present already.
Conversely though, it makes me a bit more intolerant of people in general, after all the world is full of narcissistic behavior. And while I’d like to think I can get along with most people, most of the time given that chance, I find myself less apt to want to try. Which seems a negative.
So how does one live in a world of narcissist with acceptance and grace without being swept up in their chaos? I truly don’t know.
One can’t just bury their head in the sand along with all the other empathic people and simply pretend they don’t exist. They already wield way too much power in this world. They already control far too much of its resources and wealth.
To the narcissist kindness is seen as weakness. Silence is seen as complicity. Arguing simply bates you into their web of lies. But even the most extreme narcissist has a weakness and something or someone they love, which makes them susceptible. And while I’d never advocate to fight dirty I truly think we need to find a way to subdue the damage they cause.
If you can’t beat them join them. Right? Except what if we turn that on its head? Instead of us joining them we make it so that they want to join us?
I remember passing by a homeless encampment once and I saw a few men coming to join another group of men and they were all smiling and hugging and it seemed such a warm and genuinely heartfelt reunion and it made me almost wish I could be a part of it, or at least stay to watch.
And it struck me that if a group of people is genuinely happy and cohesive, others will want to either destroy it or be a part of it. So if you don’t let anyone destroy it, inevitably they will join it.
This all makes sense in my head. I’m just not sure how we can manifest this into reality. Maybe we need to create a new reality with space for empathics to not just gather together but actually lead.
Food for thought ❣️