I don’t like to write about my ex-husband on here because even though he says he doesn’t read this blog I’m pretty sure he does. I don’t have proof; except for a few odd comments and the fact that he follows all my other social media.
Some of the incidents of staking I can possibly attribute to him. It wouldn’t be a stretch. Some of it though is definitely not him. Two nights ago someone entered my house and left me purposeful signs that they were there; nothing gory or creepy. I heard the footsteps. They were very light though and since this 100 year old beauty creeks so much and I’m pretty positive she has spirits I just disregarded it. I was in the studio downstairs with my mom at the time and I could hear what sounded like a man’s step.
Whoever it was had a key. They made a point to make me aware of it because they locked the deadbolt after they left and left the bottom latch open. I know for a fact I locked both that night. There were also traces of mud from a shoe and a kitchen cabinet left open. Which I did not do. That was it. Harmless right? The house is set-up for an Airbnb so it has nothing personalized in it; none of my things. So I’m really not sure what they were aiming for.
They didn’t use the red room, which would have been my go-to had I broken into someone’s house that had one. Lol
The energy seemed a tiny bit possessive and even a hint angry I would have to say but it’s hard to know for certain. I can easily read a person’s energy in person or in my view but just a gut feeling based on someone that left very little traces of themselves is much harder and I can’t say how accurate I am with it. So really i could be completely off about it. It definitely did not feel like my ex-husbands energy though.
Oddly I wasn’t so much scared of the fact of someone being in my space or breaking in or even having a key. Since technically anyone that rented my house over the last 2 months could have a copy. I was most disturbed from the lack of me understanding the intention behind it and the energy left.
I suppose I should be on high alert……but no. I fought all that morning to brush away any pangs of fear and now it’s more a curiosity then anything else. I’ve been told many times that I don’t see things clearly. I’ve been told I should be careful. Yea yea. I understand. I appreciate the concern. Truly!!
I’m all for safety too, but I’m not for fear. Fear to me is like worry. It’s a wasted emotion….and it literally wastes a person away.
It’s like I tell my children.
“If worrying helped at all I would be the first one to do it for you. In fact we could have a little worrying party and really get into it”. Lol
I feel the exact same about fear. It is not a helpful emotion. Also because I’ve never come across someone who’s heart I could not sense. Never!! It takes some digging sometimes as most people don’t wear it readily out but it’s there.* Like I’ve said before though I don’t want to ever meet anyone that I don’t get that sense from.
My point is…..that
I don’t need stalkers…as I’ve stated before. I don’t even get it really. Stalking has more to do with what’s happening inside that person’s mind then anything else. In other words YES, of course I am fabulous (te he he) but this isn’t about me. I could be anyone. This is about whoever is doing this. If it were truly about me specifically then this would be more personalized. If a stalker truly cared about me they would know me so well; and know my likes and dislikes and then make a point of demonstrating that to me. Show me that their “love” or rather obsession is truly based around me and not some ideal they have formed in their head; some unrealistic fantasy they have created.
Frankly they are just wasting their time and energy unnecessarily and I feel for them. Because wherever they are in life allows them to think this is ok; allows them to feel this is acceptable behavior. It’s not flattering because as I stated above it isn’t about me…the real me; my heart, my needs, my being, my essence.
They could be expending this energy towards something real and not just continuing this unhealthy farce. Then they would be getting something meaningful from it too. I can’t imagine stalking someone being very fulfilling frankly. I would think it would leave one feeling more empty then when they started.
But not like I’ve studied this in depth, it’s more something that has presented itself and I keep having to circumvent or navigate it; rather unwillingly. Because I obviously haven’t been given a choice here.
Ho hum. Maybe they will present themselves in a much more suitable fashion and we can be friends. Who knows? I could use more real friends in my life.
*Not that I always want to expend the energy to find it.