Ugghhhh

Everyone has their take. Don’t they?

Why wouldn’t a woman want a slave? Lol

But I like the image and it does make perfect sense if you’re vanilla or want to be.

I like this song, but I think we are all complicated people. I think the thought of understanding yourself though is universally accurate to everyone. We should all try to be simple….simply ourselves.

Here is my understanding of that and this goes for absolutely everyone*.

I don’t care why it is you want from me; whatever that is…I can’t give it to you. I can only give you me and if that doesn’t work. I’m sorry. I’ve disappointed a great many people, but disappointing myself trying to be someone I’m not is much much worse.

*the only exception is my children for whom I try to be the absolute best version of me that they need. Since they are so individual and different it almost makes parenting them well feel like schizophrenia. Lol. (I am obviously kidding).

Start being rational

Lol. OMG. If I had a nickel.

My ex husband says to me “when will you start making good decisions?”

Honey…I can only be me!!

I’m so sorry that disappoints people.

But seriously.

“Fuck you!!”

I ain’t out hurting anyone. I’m doing the best I can here.

All I want to be is me!!

Why is that so hard in this world?

Makes no fucking sense to me!!!

———

Luke Bryan – “I believe most people are good”. Good ass song.

“Just be held” Casting Crowns….love this song except for “on the throne” and Jesus references. It’s not that I don’t believe he existed. He was a great guy. I’m sure he was real. My point is we all have a connection to God. It’s inside of us. It’s helpful sometimes for people to point that out but I don’t need an intermediary.

For fucks sake

This world is so fucking upside down.

_________

I met the sweetest gem of a woman. She has an arm that got massively fractured and it’s 2 inches shorter than the other. It gives her constant pain and she came over to help me prep the house and I’ve NEVER seen anyone work so fucking hard (and she is white not Hispanic). Most people would be on disability with her condition.

Weird ass world. I don’t know that I’ll ever get it. So….what’s there to do?

One foot in front of the other.

Guess I should start modeling the behavior I want to see. The way the world should be. Full acceptance of yourself and then acceptance of the love given to you. It’s there!!!

God bless you Diane!!!!

Bratty Ass Teenagers

I DO NOT like being lied to. It sends me into a fucking frenzy.

This Airbnb chick said “oh it’s just me and my daughter time”. Which yes, I thought was odd as fuck but ok. Fine. Whatever. I love my daughters. Who am I to judge.

But no!!!

Let’s see.

Two Costco piZzas, enough cups to hydrate a football team, cupcakes, candles, truth or dare homemade

It’s cute as fuck and they took care of my place. BUT MADE me issue a full refund because “I scared her with my texts”.

Is that why a condom wrapper is missing.

ASSHOLES!!!

Like I told them via text. Thank God I believe in karma or I’d have to start carrying a fucking machete.

—–

Or is it the parents fault for them needing to lie. No! I don’t know. For fucks sake. Why is it so complicated!!!

I don’t deserve this. Do I? What the fuck did I do God???

Just tell me that!!!!

——

I’m pretty sure I left 3 condom wrappers. It’s fine. Even if they just took it. Great! I’ve got to leave 3 now each time to make sure. I thought I did but anyway.

And I need to lock that room but the key is in the house so what’s the point. Either that mom is ( parents are) delusional as fuck or….. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s my biggest flaw except people generally rise up or surprise me sometimes. A few do. Seems less and farther between as society goes into overdrive.

Anyway.

—–

Are we raising heathens? Where is our morality? I don’t get it. I get that people lie out of a sense of self preservation. But……

unless your actual life is in danger that makes ZERO sense to me. Stop fucking lying peeps.

—-

I’m making no sense. Am I?

I didn’t see them. I have no idea what happened last night. I only know that they left all my doors unlocked, changed the lockbox key, I thought I heard a male voice, I think a condom is missing, I know it was a birthday party, they left in the middle of the night. Lol. Those are the facts. They didn’t destroy my house, but I gave them a full refund. Someone knows all the facts. It just isn’t me. Lol

Maybe I’ll upload the transcripts of the texts. I scared her??? I find that really hard to believe. Although I do go on texting tantrums. lol

lesson learned. Do not text guests. Noted!!

hopefully it doesn’t escalate. I don’t need the neighbors upset or cops at my door.

Banning Trangenser Groups in Army

Seriously?

Why is the world so retarded? And no. I LOVE my mentally disabled. I don’t mean it to offend them. I should use another word. I’ll have to think of one.

Blacks had troops

Women are included

Illegals

I mean for fucks sakes

I don’t get it. I just don’t!!

Is it because the medical coverage lets them have surgery if desired.

Well. We’ve paid for stupider things with our taxes.

Being happy with who you are in important. Important mental health.

Seems like common sense to me.

——

Here’s my question though. Are there take backsies? Why can’t we all just be happy with what God gave us. I know. Now I’m being …….an idiot? Is that a better word. Lol

Colonics

(NOT sexual)

So I’ve been asked why I put myself in the situation I did. Why don’t I sell the house? Why don’t I get a job? Ugghhh. I’ve been told “do this”, “do that”.

I recognize these are all suggestions meant to help me. But…much like the Domme thing. I feel, genuinely feel, with my entire being that this is where I’m meant to be.

I LOVE my business. I adore my clients.

Technically I only need 10 clients a week to support myself, my children, my mortgage, my lifestyle. I am after all a fairly thrifty person (mostly 😉). Ok. Well. I’m lowering my prices so I need 12.5 a week. That’s only 2.5 a day. (Yes I recognize people can’t be split like that. Lol. Don’t be silly. I’m just being accurate.)

I hope and had assumed the area could support me. I am hoping on a wing and a prayer that I was right and as difficult as this has been and all the sacrifices I am making; most notably my kids…I still feel like this is what I am meant to be doing.

Not just that but let’s look at this from a business point of view. I inadvertently put myself in a bind by not having a plan B for income past 6 months of my business inception. The adequate time for any start-up to be financially successful is generally understood to be 3 years. I’ve recently been told this more times than I can count. Ok. Fine. What’s done is done. If I sold the house right now, as it stands…I would maybe walk away with $2k. Meanwhile I invested $60k into my house and business combined not to mention over 2 years in planning, training and execution. So. Yea. All that would be for naught.

How many people can say they LITERALLY clean shit for a living and LOVE it?*

I love helping people. I believe in this therapy because it saved my life and I’ve seen firsthand the benefit to my clients and they are so grateful and I am so honored to be able to do that for them. To impart what I know, show them love and genuine concern and five of myself to them. So really 3 clients a day is enough. I just have to get there.

Lord help me get there. I’m going to work like a dog to make it happen and if it doesn’t…well…it wasn’t for lack of trying.

This is all I have. This is it. I ain’t got no more. Lol

—-

*Not the shit part….don’t be weird. Ok. I apologize. I know some people are truly into skat. It’s not my thing, but again. It’s fine with me. Age and consent. That’s it. All else is fair game. Anyway…