Sweet Escape

It was a bit of a rough starting day and then something so beautiful happened.

I took the two youngest to Grocery Outlet; which as the name implies is a discount grocery store. We bought a hand full of items and I paid cash. I had struck up a conversation with the guy behind us. Nice man about my age buying 30 boxes of beautifully wrapped imported chocolates. He was boss man and he was accumulating gifts for his 50 employees. You could tell he was proud and happy to be giving.

I waited patiently for my 4 cents change from the cashier. I even commented about being happy taking my 4 cents, because he was awkwardly slow and it was making me a tiny bit self conscious. As I take 3 steps away the man calls for me. I turn to look back knowing I hadn’t brought anything in the store to have left it. In his hand are 3 boxes of chocolates. By this time the girls have rejoined me and he hands them each one and I fight back the tears and thank him almost speechless.

I can’t explain to you how joyful that made me. First of all we all know I love chocolate; but he had no reason to do it and yet he did. So simple and kind and yet it touched me so deeply. The day remained pretty much as it started after that. Hoping to turn it around with some fucking and possibly pegging. 🤤🤤🤤. But even so no matter…. this gesture made my entire week wonderful.

I of course turned around and gave the box to the teenager who inherited my extreme chocolate affinity. Which is great since I’m avoiding sugar anyway. Win/Win.

Life is grand!

Pipe Cleaning

The pipe that runs our digestive system needs cleaning, just like any pipes do. Even pipes that run clear water get calcification and we definitely put things in our body that our body not only doesn’t need but that does it active damage; like sugar and alcohol, chemicals and such. It’s not at all surprising to me that the average life expectancy keeps getting cut in the US. Gee I wonder why?

Could it be the unhealthy environment, stress and processed (nutrient deficient) diet and lifestyle choices. Nah. Pass me another eggnog, can we add extra fat, sugar, food dyes, preservatives and fillers. Please??!

We need to think of our bodies like what they are; machines. What we put in directly affects the output and running of the equipment.

I get it though. Food is more than just fuel. It’s also based around emotional, social, habitual, traditional, conditional and convenience factors, to say the least. I eat for fun too; chocolate and french fries are my own personal downfall. Mmmmmmmmm


Right now I’m doing an intensive colon cleanse through the end of the year based on Bernard Jensen’s book.

I just cleaned the bathroom sink this week and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it’s no different with our plumbing. Plus not just your large intestine gets impacted but your small intestine can have a coating as well. I’ll save you the disgusting images but if you are curious google mucoid plaque and I can attest 100% to it being accurate. These images are no joke. This IS what is in your digestive system along with a whole bunch of stuff most people don’t want to hear about. Which I gladly discuss quite openly with anyone frankly: parasites!! (gasp, gasp)

And people wonder: why am I depressed? Why am I sick? Why am I sluggish? Why am I always upset? Why can’t I concentrate? On and on and on.

It’s ALL connected; body/mind, gut flora/general well-being. It’s not complicated. In who’s interest is it to dispel colon hydrotherapy? When it’s been around and utilized SUCCESSFULLY for over a thousand years.

Honestly digestive health fascinates me. I love to hear peoples medical history and help my clients figure out their own digestive health and see how it’s working first hand. I absolutely love the field I am in. I could talk about it for hours, quite literally. I almost would like to hand people a chart with images so they can understand what they are seeing come out of their body in the equipment.

Undigested fat: you’re eating to much fat and/or your body isn’t effectively processing it.

Candida: serious overgrowth of yeast which generally necessitates a diet modification.

Parasites: at the point you are seeing them your body is in need of serious help. Your immune system is compromised. This is a bit of chicken/egg dilemma but when you eradicate them by making your body inhospitable your immune system will generally rebound very rapidly.

Whole pieces of food. You’re not chewing your food well enough for starters which is a very heavy load on your digestion. Your body can only extract the nutrients it needs when your food is masticated into a liquid or mush consistency and only your teeth do this job. I can tell you a fascinating study about this but it involves Jewish people in concentration camps and it’s so morbid it’s almost unpalatable; so I’ll refrain.

Black, tarry stools: unless you eat a diet high in very dark greens, beets; activated charcoal, etc. then there may be blood somewhere in your digestive tract. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything drastic and the colon is highly regenerative. But it is VERY important to get a handle on it.

It’s so imperative that we listen to our bodies and understand how they work and how to optimize it. It truly can be a game changer as far as quality of life in EVERY aspect; mental, physical, emotional, energetic.

Alright. That was my soap box for the day.

Happy first day of December. 🎄⛄️❤️

Subliminal Messaging

At one time it was illegal, but that was for movies and TV. Now with media being on so many platforms and made by so many different entities with little to no oversight it may be more rampant than we realize.

What inspired this odd conspiracy?

I just finished watching the new Coke commercial Eggnog Schmeggnog and it shows what I thought was a root beer float and as they pan up the glass it appears like the ice cream creates a kiss when the liquid is poured in. It’s soo subtle (to me; I had to rewind it 4 times) that you almost don’t consciously catch it.

I hate consumerism!!!

FUCKING HATE IT. Stop always trying to sell me shit. Is that too much to fucking ask?!?!

Hippy Liberal

I’m NOT a hippy liberal like people like to box me up to be. I am a pragmatist and a humanitarian. It makes for an interesting crossover; trust me. I see this today

“Loomer also quoted from a lawsuit filed earlier this year by Larry Klayman against Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter over alleged antitrust violations. Among other things, the suit accuses the companies of having “entered into an illegal leftist agenda and designs to effectively overthrow President Trump and his administration.” – The Verge

and wonder if it’s true. I wonder if these allegations are correct. If we’ve gotten to the point where even (unimpassioned) Hillary Clinton can claim “The time for civility is over!”, then what kind of government do we really have? Who is the mastermind? What is the agenda? It definitely doesn’t seem to be by the people for the people to me. But what do I know. I’m just living my moments: one at a time. Hoping, wishing, praying, moving towards happiness in my own clumsy-ass way.


Ok. Maybe I am a bit hippy-dippy. I believe we are all energy. I like the song “I am the light of my soul” – Shivanandi Nirmala.

(I believe it applies to everyone; but) who am I kidding? I am who I am. I’m not making excuses. I don’t need any. I am just coming clean. Not that anyone asked really. 🤣🤣🤣

High School Community Forum

The local High School where my daughter goes (a school I absolutely love; with so many resources and top notch teachers and a great student body regardless of the hate speech scrawled on the bathroom walls last year) is building a community forum to address where funding should be allocated for future learning spaces. I would love to join.

I envision a space much like a continuation school where you’d have a comfortable and quiet learning environment where students had free space and time to progress at their own speed with tutors/teachers available (in the class) for when they expressly need guidance or nudging. I thrived in a continuation school environment where I failed pretty miserably (academically) in normal high school settings.

I did ok in college; hit and miss. Some classes like biology (which fascinated me) came a bit easier where philosophy (which I thought I’d love, I absolutely hated…. I’ll red herring you buddy; don’t point that finger at me).

Anyway. No point there.

But I envision a think tank sort of environment where kids could teach each other and themselves on their own and lead/work projects together in science and technology applications. It sounds amazing to me. Would probably cut the drop out rate too. But the school district already has a fabulous Art & Technology High School that I was told was smaller and more individual focused. So maybe the need I speak of has been filled.

I want to participate in life in so many ways. I want to be friends with the world and just help make the world a better place in the ways I think I know about. In a finite world I recognize my fragile existence. That’s the song that first played on my playlist today for me. Fragile – Sting.

It resonated with me this morning. Don’t ask me why.


The way I see it:

I can only do what I do. Because I can only know what I know. I can only move forward in the directions I see or I can just step and have faith all will be ok. The latter provides the most comfort for me interestingly enough although logically would seem to provide no real foundation; right? This is where spirituality isn’t always logical. It’s where hope and faith come in. I think all God asks is that you just try or like Cardi B says “I’ve been down 9 times but I get up ten”.

—–Just read that California legislators announce a bill to ban stores from selling flavored tobacco products to try and curb teen use. If teens are anything like I was (aka idiots) they will want it more in sheer defiance. Wonder what the statistics say about it. Will it just transfer sales to the black market. I assume for the kids already addicted they will either keep buying whatever they can buy, however they can or quit? Not like quitting is easy.

Quitting smoking is an entire industry for a reason. I wonder if colon hydrotherapy would help with nicotine cravings. Theoretically I don’t see why it wouldn’t since it helps other cravings. Of course I’m talking microbial cravings. Hmmmmm. Worth thinking about maybe? (Just notes to myself. Don’t mind me. Just ruminating).

Self Sufficiency is Overrated

Earlier this week I went to Ace and bought a snake and fixed the bathroom sink. On my knees for an hour going back and forth with the damn thing until it finally broke through. I felt a strong sense of accomplishment until today that is; after I bathed the little one and watched the bathtub drain way to slow and thought to myself “here we go again”.

It’s like masturbating. I can get the job done with no drama, no having to deal with anyone else’s issues or factors I didn’t see coming. And even though it’s convenient to just do it myself to the standards and expectations I dictate sometimes I just want to delegate it. “Make me orgasm!” dammit.

I want to not be so Linda Hamilton in Terminator all the time and be more (batting eyelashes like I want to make a wind tunnel) “Gee, honey I really don’t know. Will lipstick or thong straps help? Because I’m just a girl.” But alas, If a man were here I would be much more like Mae West probably would in this same situation “I can do this shit honey, but that’s what you’re here for💋”


All wishful thinking on my part unfortunately. That bathtub drain just ain’t gonna fix itself.

Holding Back – No more, Obey me!

There seems to be a not so fine line between telling it like it is and keeping your mouth shut. Up until now I’ve opted for the latter. For one you look less stupider that way🤣. Second there is no way to know when what you say can benefit or hurt someone. I’ve seen the most sincere compliments throw people into emotional frenzies.

I think I’m getting to the age where I feel entitled. Much like septuagenarians and octogenarians feel; as if their opinion is pivotal. I’m feeling that rush of “here it is; take it or leave it”. And I want to bring it all out. I want my voice to be heard. I want it to roar over the highest tree peeks or whisper softly into a needing heart. It will inevidently be wrong, hurt someone and get odd looks. Seems no matter what you say judgement resounds loudly.

So….. who cares? 100 years from now what will be left of me, my thoughts, my actions, my voice? Hopefully, maybe just an imprint of kindness and a gentle wave of “giving a fuck” and if people get me the wrong way…. so be it.


I always say men and woman are equal. Theoretically I absolutely believe this. Where one gender has some general pluses the other excels at other aspects. There is a symbiosis and natural alignment. Now this doesn’t take into account that all people are unique.

I honestly think sometimes women take it too far and treat men as woman have historically been treated. Sometimes it’s fun; like objectifying them. Although I still don’t personally care for Chippendales.

Today I had a friend ask me what I truly want and these words came immediately to mind; love, devotion and obedience. Lol. Hypocrite that I am or very true Domme. However you want to look at it. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not. I want what I want and I’d rather get exactly what I want or have nothing at all. Maybe I am a martyr or maybe I simply believe “that which you seek, is seeking you” (- Cheri Huber)