Porn Girl

I hate to say it; only because some people look at you as if you were an alien out killing puppies with fresh blood dripping from your fangs.

I was tired of the same old same old. One administration pushes a bit left. The next pushes a bit right. Things pretty much stay the same. The deficit keeps growing. We are still in combat sending kids home in coffins. Corporate greed keeps expanding its territory. Our freedoms keep getting trampled on in the name of “patriotism” and “the better good” and “policing those people”.

I think Trump through no fault of his own has brought things to light that needed to be lit: voting issues, inherent misogyny and racism within our systems, government and people, the falsity of media coverage, and more. So do I think he is doing a good job? Well. I can’t say now. Ask me in 20 years. As of now, I see him as a rich, bullying asshole that does not have the countries true interest but only his own at heart with limited knowledge of world politics and even our own policies and government workings. Is that necessarily bad? Maybe not. Maybe he’ll do more good than he even knows. Like a bumbling idiot TV character; but I can’t say for sure. So far I am not impressed really; but hey it’s a fun show and it’s getting people involved and talking and that’s a great thing!!

Plus any man that can get me to wish for Bush junior back in office sure does merit some award. Lol. But I’m really hoping more good than bad comes from this saga. If anything things are getting stirred up and that I do like. I like for people to be pushed beyond their level of comfort and see other people’s realities. I like to think we can bridge gaps better this way but this just may be my naïveté talking. Who knows?

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When net neutrality got put on the ballot the first time I was one of the people calling the fcc; voicing my complaints against letting the government and corporations have control of not only what we see but how it gets seen. It’s a confusing subject but basically it gives them power and control over not only content and advertising, but also speeds and access. This makes me more and more want to jump on the dark web and I don’t even want to do anything illegal. I just don’t want to have all my data and searches saved for advertisers pleasure and government oversight.

I don’t want my searches to be blocked in the sake of the “greater good”. Sure now they are trying to come for societies “bottom feeders” and restrict them but who is next? I say let it ALL be out there. I would rather look at the whole truth in all its ugly splendor than have some else’s version of the truth curated for me in a more palatable and consumer driven way.

They’ve already come out against the far right and people concede to it because why? It’s dangerous? When it incites hatred and anger I suppose it can be seen that way; but I’d rather know than not know what people think and feel. All this truly does is drive it into the shadows. I don’t see the benefit there. The people that believe and want to see things this way will go looking wherever they have to.

And then there are things like this. Even if you don’t believe in this point of view ask yourself “who is next?”.

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Brad and I have been struggling. The worst part of this is that I truly do care for the schmuck. I really do love him. So why do we bicker so much? I’m conflicted and I really don’t want this blog to center on relationship drama; which is why I’ve abstained from discussing a lot of our non-sexual dalliances on here; both the really good and the bad and have just given general glimpses of the things I’ve wanted to share.

He is a really good guy. He has a very good heart and he is soooo hyper-intelligent. I am amazed at how his mind processes things. Far superior to me in so many ways and yet……. there is a lot of friction between how we both navigate life and how different we see things. Ugghhhhh

Sometimes part of me wants to have complete and total control over him and then others I’m like “I’m fucking exhausted, do I really need another project?”. It’s not quite so cut and dry and simplistic but these are the extremes of it. Last night as we laid in bed he held me in his arms and told me “everything is going to be alright” and I melted like a little girl into his arms and felt the world was absolutely perfect in that moment and today I’ve asked him to order us matching butt plugs from Geek. Lol.

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Life is too crazy to live in absolutes. I have no idea what is going to happen. I don’t need my life to be more complicated is all I’ve said from the very beginning. But maybe I need to take my own advice here. I need to just allow the space for ease and take many more deep breaths. Stop overthinking it all. Allow that whatever is happening now is meant to happen or it wouldn’t be happening and then live within the happiness that is available in this moment.

I sometimes hum when I’m doing chores. I tell the kids “if you have to do something do it with a happy heart”. Do your best and do it lovingly; because why not? If you have to do it anyway you may as well find the joy in it. It’s there somewhere!! Maybe this is why people turn so easily to drugs, corruption, violence, anger, hatred and greed. It’s an easy way to find joy. Finding inner happiness takes work sometimes unfortunately.

It does for me at least. So hey….. I’ll take all the help I can get there. It all counts. It all matters. Like Cheri Huber says “How you do one thing, is how you do all things”. If people lived by this motto the world would be a magical place.

But what do I know? Really though… when it comes down to it; I’m just happy to be here. I hope I can say that for 60 years more. That is the true testimant to a good life I think. Living your life so that when the time comes; whenever that may be…. wherever that may take you…. you’re like “yep….It’s A-O.K.”

See you later and thanks for all the fish. 💋❤️💋

Going to make myself a fresh pressed juice and add a heavy dose of probiotics. All this gut cleaning has stirred thing up quite a bit and I’m feeling very emotionally scattered. I’m trying to stabilize myself by keeping my mood neutral. I notice how “all over the place” my feelings are right now. If I listen to a sad song I get sad and a happy song I get happy.

So I’m just going to stay focused on the task at hand; whatever that may be and keep moving forward. I’m not taking a look at these emotions because I don’t understand them yet. They may or may not be relevant. So for now I’ll table them; at least until I can attribute them to something substantive and not just general moodiness. I’m probably also PMS’ing. Hooray!

There are some other underlying issues I can’t discuss right now too. Unfortunately my sex life has nothing of interest to offer or I would gladly share it. My eldest daughter has her first boyfriend and isn’t as enthusiastic as I had imagined she would be. The build up to this was probably too much; but then again she’s a low key gal (much like me.) Who knows? I met the young man. Very cute and outgoing. He treats her well. Hopefully he has learned to respect my curfews and restrictions. We shall see.

Picking up my holiday cards tomorrow. I plan on sharing them with you all.

Happy Monday! 💋💋💋

Someone please have some wild, kinky, hot sex so I can live vicariously. Will ya?? Please!!!

Focus on what you want in life. Right? Huge mantra making the rounds right now; but I want to take it a step further.

It is my belief that we are privy to the ebb and flow between good and evil in this world. We are born into Karma and it gets reinforced over and over. But I want to take myself out of the equation. I’ve talked about this for years actually on my other (spiritually based) blog but since I’ve let that one drift and made this into my one and only catch all blog…. here goes.

I want to be a witness to the glory of the universe. I want to not focus on it as much as just be aware of it, open to it and a part of it. I want to live more mindfully in tune to it. I want to live more authentically vulnerable (to not use “open” again). I want to live more aware of the sometimes subtle miracles that occur every moment. Because I believe & I have witnessed enough of them to know they are real. They are a part of existence.

I want to be here to witness. I’m just afraid I won’t stop crying at the beauty of it all. Much like yesterday when I fought back tears; because the simplicity of kindness and love can be so overwhelmingly beautiful.

Wishing you a glorious Sunday.

🙂💋🙏🏽❤️

Ho, ho, ho!

It was a bit of a rough starting day and then something so beautiful happened.

I took the two youngest to Grocery Outlet; which as the name implies is a discount grocery store. We bought a hand full of items and I paid cash. I had struck up a conversation with the guy behind us. Nice man about my age buying 30 boxes of beautifully wrapped imported chocolates. He was boss man and he was accumulating gifts for his 50 employees. You could tell he was proud and happy to be giving.

I waited patiently for my 4 cents change from the cashier. I even commented about being happy taking my 4 cents, because he was awkwardly slow and it was making me a tiny bit self conscious. As I take 3 steps away the man calls for me. I turn to look back knowing I hadn’t brought anything in the store to have left it. In his hand are 3 boxes of chocolates. By this time the girls have rejoined me and he hands them each one and I fight back the tears and thank him almost speechless.

I can’t explain to you how joyful that made me. First of all we all know I love chocolate; but he had no reason to do it and yet he did. So simple and kind and yet it touched me so deeply. The day remained pretty much as it started after that. Hoping to turn it around with some fucking and possibly pegging. 🤤🤤🤤. But even so no matter…. this gesture made my entire week wonderful.

I of course turned around and gave the box to the teenager who inherited my extreme chocolate affinity. Which is great since I’m avoiding sugar anyway. Win/Win.

Life is grand!

The pipe that runs our digestive system needs cleaning, just like any pipes do. Even pipes that run clear water get calcification and we definitely put things in our body that our body not only doesn’t need but that does it active damage; like sugar and alcohol, chemicals and such. It’s not at all surprising to me that the average life expectancy keeps getting cut in the US. Gee I wonder why?

Could it be the unhealthy environment, stress and processed (nutrient deficient) diet and lifestyle choices. Nah. Pass me another eggnog, can we add extra fat, sugar, food dyes, preservatives and fillers. Please??!

We need to think of our bodies like what they are; machines. What we put in directly affects the output and running of the equipment.

I get it though. Food is more than just fuel. It’s also based around emotional, social, habitual, traditional, conditional and convenience factors, to say the least. I eat for fun too; chocolate and french fries are my own personal downfall. Mmmmmmmmm

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Right now I’m doing an intensive colon cleanse through the end of the year based on Bernard Jensen’s book.

I just cleaned the bathroom sink this week and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it’s no different with our plumbing. Plus not just your large intestine gets impacted but your small intestine can have a coating as well. I’ll save you the disgusting images but if you are curious google mucoid plaque and I can attest 100% to it being accurate. These images are no joke. This IS what is in your digestive system along with a whole bunch of stuff most people don’t want to hear about. Which I gladly discuss quite openly with anyone frankly: parasites!! (gasp, gasp)

And people wonder: why am I depressed? Why am I sick? Why am I sluggish? Why am I always upset? Why can’t I concentrate? On and on and on.

It’s ALL connected; body/mind, gut flora/general well-being. It’s not complicated. In who’s interest is it to dispel colon hydrotherapy? When it’s been around and utilized SUCCESSFULLY for over a thousand years.

Honestly digestive health fascinates me. I love to hear peoples medical history and help my clients figure out their own digestive health and see how it’s working first hand. I absolutely love the field I am in. I could talk about it for hours, quite literally. I almost would like to hand people a chart with images so they can understand what they are seeing come out of their body in the equipment.

Undigested fat: you’re eating to much fat and/or your body isn’t effectively processing it.

Candida: serious overgrowth of yeast which generally necessitates a diet modification.

Parasites: at the point you are seeing them your body is in need of serious help. Your immune system is compromised. This is a bit of chicken/egg dilemma but when you eradicate them by making your body inhospitable your immune system will generally rebound very rapidly.

Whole pieces of food. You’re not chewing your food well enough for starters which is a very heavy load on your digestion. Your body can only extract the nutrients it needs when your food is masticated into a liquid or mush consistency and only your teeth do this job. I can tell you a fascinating study about this but it involves Jewish people in concentration camps and it’s so morbid it’s almost unpalatable; so I’ll refrain.

Black, tarry stools: unless you eat a diet high in very dark greens, beets; activated charcoal, etc. then there may be blood somewhere in your digestive tract. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything drastic and the colon is highly regenerative. But it is VERY important to get a handle on it.

It’s so imperative that we listen to our bodies and understand how they work and how to optimize it. It truly can be a game changer as far as quality of life in EVERY aspect; mental, physical, emotional, energetic.

Alright. That was my soap box for the day.

Happy first day of December. 🎄⛄️❤️

At one time it was illegal, but that was for movies and TV. Now with media being on so many platforms and made by so many different entities with little to no oversight it may be more rampant than we realize.

What inspired this odd conspiracy?

I just finished watching the new Coke commercial Eggnog Schmeggnog and it shows what I thought was a root beer float and as they pan up the glass it appears like the ice cream creates a kiss when the liquid is poured in. It’s soo subtle (to me; I had to rewind it 4 times) that you almost don’t consciously catch it.

I hate consumerism!!!

FUCKING HATE IT. Stop always trying to sell me shit. Is that too much to fucking ask?!?!

I’m NOT a hippy liberal like people like to box me up to be. I am a pragmatist and a humanitarian. It makes for an interesting crossover; trust me. I see this today

“Loomer also quoted from a lawsuit filed earlier this year by Larry Klayman against Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter over alleged antitrust violations. Among other things, the suit accuses the companies of having “entered into an illegal leftist agenda and designs to effectively overthrow President Trump and his administration.” – The Verge

and wonder if it’s true. I wonder if these allegations are correct. If we’ve gotten to the point where even (unimpassioned) Hillary Clinton can claim “The time for civility is over!”, then what kind of government do we really have? Who is the mastermind? What is the agenda? It definitely doesn’t seem to be by the people for the people to me. But what do I know. I’m just living my moments: one at a time. Hoping, wishing, praying, moving towards happiness in my own clumsy-ass way.

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Ok. Maybe I am a bit hippy-dippy. I believe we are all energy. I like the song “I am the light of my soul” – Shivanandi Nirmala.

(I believe it applies to everyone; but) who am I kidding? I am who I am. I’m not making excuses. I don’t need any. I am just coming clean. Not that anyone asked really. 🤣🤣🤣