You will love me to the ends of the earth
Your love will know no limit
Your giving to me will know no bounds
You will die a thousand times just to love me again and again
And mine will know none with you
And somehow we will navigate this precarious mess
Into a torridly beautiful love saga
That when it starts
Never ever ends
Do romantics even exist anymore?
Party of one to the asylum please. No one seems to understand.
lol. No!! You’re out there. You rare gem of a man. Somewhere. I will find you dammit or you will find me. Remind me later which one it was.
I’ve been feeling burns. A man sparks something here; another ignites a burst there, but they aren’t quite hitting the mark. For whatever reason it just isn’t right. The right push and pull isn’t there or the complete vulnerability, honesty and possession I need. Can that be helped? Sure. I suppose, but only with awesome communication skills and some win/win compromising…(if that juxtaposition even makes sense).
All of life should be about the win/win but since society can be cruel that way then at least can’t I, shouldn’t I, shouldn’t we all try to have that with the people we love. At least?
That’s what I’m looking for.
I’m not competing here. I’m just trying to be happy. We all deserve such luck!! Can we share that fantasy and make it a reality?
I don’t lose hope. I just stop pushing any agenda and let life lead. Let my heart lead. Let my limits stop me from making a fool of myself. 🤪🤪🤪
So the whole initial point of the post was that I am not feeling jaded. I’m feeling sometimes almost close to electric. Like when you can feel the surge coming. They are just igniting the fires even hotter. Fanning the flame. Bringing me closer to a reality I know exists. Even as I am far I am closer than ever.* Mwahahahhahahahaha
I don’t cackle like a witch. Maybe I should. Like Glenda the good witch would if she dressed Domme instead. A sexy sultry guffaw
*he will spark just as electric for me
Update: so why can’t I just be electric always?
Heck if I know. It’s a switch. Sometimes it’s on; sometimes it’s off. When you love. When you give. When you are open to it all. It’s on. It’s easier to live in that space holding someone’s hand (when you need it at least).
Plus isn’t sex fun!!! It’s electric or it can be. Lol. 😝😊😉💋
When they were passing out “normal” lives they looked at me and said “na, give her the works”. My life was a bit too boring when married but also mostly unbearable…for reasons I won’t get into, not because it was boring. Boring I can take.
But since being divorced my life has switched into overdrive. It is not unbearable but sometimes it pushes me to the edge of anxiety where I feel like I could freefall off of the cliff and have no idea where I would land. So I feel like I have a death grip on what little I have now, trying not to let it slip away. Life shouldn’t be like that; for anyone.
Sooooo I want to just unwind it all a bit. I’m still moving ahead. Still doing all I need to do, but I’m not going to stress about it anymore. I’m going to allow myself to just be. Just be in the moment of it all. Let go of the deathgrip and let myself freefall if that’s where the momentum is going to take me. This means I’m not actively pursuing trying to find a relationship. This means I’m not letting my anxiety take over. This means I’m not going to let it all overwhelm me.
I’m going to have faith that where I am is where I need to be even if I can’t find a rationale to it all. No one is promised anything and I still feel damn lucky to have what I have, to be who I am and to be surrounded by and meet some pretty damn awesome people in this life. That’s not nothing.
I met up with another professional Domme today. She was such a beautiful person on the outside of course, but more importantly on the inside; where it really matters. We connected instantly and deeply. It was so much fun. I could have talked to her all afternoon.
She got to where I am at a much younger age and she has no encumberments so she can push boundaries I can’t and she has a plethora of different sexual relationships outside of work. I so envy that autonomy. One which I can not indulge. It was just so very refreshing and nice to connect with a woman on a wavelength I’ve never connected with to another woman before. One we are both very passionate about.
It was nice to see how similar we are. She is also a very nurturing Domme; perhaps even more so than I. I was shocked how vanilla the meeting was. Perhaps not the words coming out of our mouths but if you saw us from across a room you wouldn’t blink. Just two soft girls sharing time. It was bliss.
Whereas I exchanged emails and texts with another local Domme recently who I could immediately tell was a very domineering and might I say even slightly bitchy or maybe just jaded Domme. There are all kinds. That’s for sure. So even within the realm there are still many subdivisions. It is all soo very, truly fascinating to me.
If I could go back in time I would study human sexuality only that probably wouldn’t have gotten me to where I am now and I wouldn’t trade my sexual freedom for anything in the world; just about. Lol
The one thing she said to me that stuck with me when I left is that what we do is more than a service. We are a blessing! We provide sexual freedom to men that they can not attain anywhere else.
So what I took from that is that we provide a break from the facade they must portray. We provide an escape. We provide for them the play and taste of a reality they most deeply crave and can not get elsewhere. Why didn’t anyone tell me this was a real job? Lol
All this time….my life could have been so different. Things happen for a reason. Who knows? I’m here now. So really. Who cares why. I’m just enjoying the ride.
I recognize that necessity sometimes takes you to strange places, but if you’re happy to be there then really. Lol
I bought these luscious jewels yesterday.
They screamed at me from across the room….
but I looked away. Intent on ignoring them and yet I drew myself closer to them, as if by accident, until I found myself standing right in front of them pretending not to care. I distracted myself with the other merchandise but my eyes kept running back to them. Then my hand caressed them. I checked the size (of course they were my size….why wouldn’t they be?) and as if by impulse my hands grabbed ahold of them with no direct intention to do anything with them…yet.
“Should I try them on?” I thought to myself. Don’t I have enough “come fuck me” shoes? My back felt pressed against the wall. I felt an intense necessity to try them on. I simply had to!!! The woman sitting on the footstool near me had her jaw literally wide open as she watched me careen into them. Once I had them on she said something about them being one of a kind or other but that is all a blur now. All I remember is how I felt when I saw them on my feet and how I knew in my heart I could not let anyone else have them. They were mine and mine alone.
They fit me as I imagine Cinderella’s glass slippers did….as if made just for me. They felt magical.
I may have to go to the sex club next weekend to justify buying them to myself. Lol
Russia and the US have been playing this chess game so damn long
Don’t they realize no one wins.
They are going to annihilate the world these idiot leaders and the rest (China/North Korea/Middle East/etc).
It’s fine. Yes. It could be the worst thing to happen in the world. Literally.
But so what.
At least they’ll be dead too. There is that. 😝