I was talking to John today. He reminded me that I haven’t looked into getting the clit rings I had been so very excited about a few months ago.
That just seems like a sure fire way to fall off the wagon. I am at my limit for sexual frustration and if they do what they say they do; which is dramatically increase sensitivity to the point where even casual rubbing or crossing of the legs sparks sensation then I’d be doomed. There is no way I can put up with that without an outlet beyond the vibrator I utilize now. I know myself too well. I know my pitfalls.
The problem is that if I have the anatomy for it and can get it done then there is a potential 2 month healing process. Which seems like maddening torture if I do have an available partner. Ugghh. What to do? What to do?
John is so sweet to me. He’s the 3rd “sweet rich boy” I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. The first was this cute pudgy Jewish boy I got introduced to by my best friend Paul in high school. He was so tender and kind to me. I remember sitting in his car talking for hours and feeling so cherished and safe. I didn’t want that feeling to end. He took me to his house one day to meet his parent and they were very polite, but I was not what they had in mind and that swiftly ended that.
Then on the heels of that came Mr. Dreamboat. He was my boss at this marketing company. He was a tiny bit older than me and drove a Porsche. He reminded me of a young Andrew McCarthy. He was so sweet to me. He never tried anything, just kept asking me out and waiting for me to open up. The issue was that he made me so nervous that I sabotaged that before it even began. My self esteem was just abysmal then and I could not for the life of me figure out why he was asking me out. He was (as far as I could see) way too far out of my league and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, no matter how much I liked him. And the fact that he wasn’t pouncing all over me like most guys made it even worse because he obviously didn’t just want me for that. I can still feel that horrible anxiety as if he were here right now. Ugghh, but boy was he dreamy.
I’ve gone out with other rich men, these three are just the best of those. I’m not going to blanket statement men of any financial status as any one thing because that simply isn’t the case. Men come in all kinds of flavors. That’s the beauty of unwrapping them. Lol