Reiki me this……

I’m going to a free level 1 Reiki training this weekend. I’m mildly excited. I say mildly because when I tried Reiki over a decade ago I didn’t feel anything. I actually found Tai Chi and Qi Gong more spiritual and I could feel the energy very clearly there, but this is free and I’m hoping to meet other healers. Plus, different time, different me, different possibilities.

—— (tangent)

I wonder about our president. I wonder if he has mastered “The Secret” or if it’s just that his ego is so huge and his reach so wide that he can manifest his own reality by sheer will.

I often think about Karma. The easiest way I can explain it (to myself) is that we have a Karmic blueprint much like our genetic (DNA) code that comes passed down to us*. How we live our lives greatly affects this: our choices, our environment, our input into this coding.

I often wonder if a master atonement button got pressed on the world how that would go and how far back it would stretch. How many generations of atonement would one need to account for? And how far back would we go until all our Karma’s intersect? (new thought). I wonder too, if it all got evened out and those that got their power and wealth through ill means had it stripped away, how would they karmicly make amends for their corruption and/or complicity? How far back would they have to make amends for? How would that transference go?

It’s all so very complex that I’m truly glad I don’t have to pass judgement on anyone or anything. So glad that’s not my job. (Even though I do take the privilege of Jury Duty very seriously when I’ve been called upon.)

Anyway…….

Reiki it is. Reiki for all. It’s like the instructor said about Pranic Healing. The man that invented it could not feel the energy for decades, but he studied energy fields and applied his knowledge to manipulate them to heal his wife and it worked. He was able to reproduce this time and time again without actually feeling a single thing himself; nothing. I’ve come at this the exact opposite way. I’ve felt this energy my entire life and just now am trying to apply mechanics and intention to it.

I guess there are many paths to get to the same place.

Enjoy your path! 💖💋🌈🙏🏽🥰🌷

——-

*Whether you want to believe in past lives here or just ancestry is more of a personal choice. I don’t know or care frankly. The outcome is the same regardless.

Professional Dominatrix Revisited

So many subs so little time……

Darcy and I were talking finances yesterday over dinner. We were talking about my businesses. She told me to go pro Domme. I laughed. I absolutely can’t do that where I live. Mayberry wouldn’t have it and even though I have no shame about holding that title intimately, professionally is another ballpark. While I do see the need for these services and I would enjoy it tremendously……

Hmmmmm. Let’s see….

Couple’s training. Submissive training. Dominatrix training. Femdom parties. Trauma/sexual healing and acceptance. Sexual submission and subjugation. It all fascinates and titillates me beyond measure. It all melds so perfectly into BDSM.

But it would be another business and like any business it requires work and some drudgery. Granted that in that capacity I could have subs/slaves that I’m positive would gladly help me in exchange for play or favoritism. It’s only been offered to me time and time again and silly me never taking advantage of it.

But I would need a space, marketing, decor, city licensing, on and on. I haven’t even been in the local scene all that much, but success in business has a lot more to do with business acumen and fulfilling an actual need then expertise and as much as people seem to hate it when I say I’m a natural Domme. I am. Doesn’t hurt that I’ve been unknowingly doing it with all my partners for over 30 years. Pegging, subjugating and feminizing my partners whenever I got the chance.

When I get into Domme mode I feel so deeply and truly in control. It’s a totally different character and I love that aspect of myself…..that unleashing. I love bringing out that part of my persona. It is so magical to me. It is deeply fulfilling. But professionally? Don’t get me wrong. I would enjoy the fuck out of it.

If it fell in my lap I would do it in a heartbeat. Undoubtedly. But……that hasn’t happened yet….sooooo off to clean out some butts (including my own😋😉) and enjoy the beautiful day.

Love to you all. 💖🙏🏽💋🌈🌷🥰

Shewolf

She purposefully sets her feet down

Legs spread

Toes sinking into the wood floors

She juts out her vagina

And stares down at the wispy tufts shrouding it

She raises her hands to the sky

And calls on divinity

She calls on her power

The power within

The power without

The power that is hers alone to yield

To meld

To mold

To play with

In this lifetime

She turns her head up

And gazes towards the light

She wishes she could run barefoot and naked on the grass

She wishes she could howl at the moon

But her fingers are cold

The night is frigid

The moon is hidden behind clouds that speak of thunderstorms in the distance

So she puts her robe back on and finds her way back to bed

In complete darkness

She climbs in besides her stirring sweet child

And rocks her to sleep again

Glad the night hides her tears so well

Tears of joy, solitude, gratitude

Meld with tears of sorrow, pain and despair

She is hoping God heard her prayers

Thinking tomorrow is another day

And another chance to dance naked in the moonlight

Will she ever dare?

Sex Fiend / Breaking and Entering

I am a sex fiend. I can admit it, even if it sounds like it would be a negative I don’t see it that way at all. Maybe because it is such a positive thing in my life. Sex fulfills so many aspects of happiness and pleasure for me.

Brad and I spent 24 hours together. We were in bed probably half that time although we slept maybe 5 hours tops. It was about 1am when we climbed into bed after a long hot tub session. I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open when he started carressing me. I gave up all control and let him do as he pleased. I was sure I was not going to orgasm anyway as I was way too tired to even think of it.

It amazed me how gradually, tired as I was, I was indeed getting aroused. While I was still too tired to actively participate my body did react and respond and the arousal he got from me was intense. I was unashamed as I pushed my ass into the air and opened my pussy wide wanting to be filled and played with. I was unashamed as I rose my ass to his hand to be smacked over and over. I was unashamed as I did exactly as he asked of me and spread my legs as much as I could with overwhelming desire for his cock and hands and mouth to engulf me.

——-

We went and met his niece and her husband for dinner. They are such nice people. It was so much fun. We spent so much time at dinner we didn’t have a chance to get back to the house for me to take over; even though I had joyously set up all the toys I planned on using ahead of time. (Sad, pouty face.)

——

Wednesday is his birthday and I plan on sneaking into his house and making him breakfast in bed. He does not do early rising so there is no chance of me being caught. I’m not sure how much of a light sleeper he is and he does own several guns so……there is that….and the dogs will bark at me. Maybe I need to rethink this a bit.

I’ve broken into people’s houses before. It’s always fun. I remember one April fool’s I went into my neighbors house and moved all her food from her fridge to her garage refrigerator. Every single piece. Then I put clear saran wrap on her toilet so whoever used it would get a surprise. I laughed so hard when she figured out it was me and came to yell at me. She couldn’t contain her laughter. I was laughing so hard I cried and peed a little. (Hey you birth 3 kids and tell me about it.)

I’ll figure it out. He told me I was not allowed to spend money on him so he tied my hands and I’m not a macrame type of gal. We shall see. There isn’t much we don’t already do sexually unless I invited another player. He’d love that I’m sure but it’s not like I have all these people on Rolodex waiting for my call to be like “sure whatever you want”. Although that would be nice. Lol (Mouth watering……very nice indeed.)

A Ruse – Vaccine Propaganda – RANT

I always….always question…..who is behind this? I do this with everyone and with everything. I’ve been into this vaccine debacle for over a decade now, following the players, the money, the laws. None of it makes sense to me. It absolutely defies logic.

I’ve even gotten into heated debates with drug reps, scholars that publish articles, and doctors. Not a one of them can contradict the very valid points I give them. Inevitably they always come back to Polio, which is not really a valid contradiction, but it is probably the closest to valid they can get.

I just read an article that actually says that the the vaccine given prior to 2016 has been causing polio recently in a small subgroup of people because it carried a live strain that laid dormant in the intestines and then just became active of its own. Then they turn around and blame the unvaccinated (for contracting it off people who got it from vaccines).

This is exactly what happened in Minnesota with the huge outbreak they had there a few years ago. Ground zero for that was a vaccinated child and almost all the children who contracted it were vaccinated. But the blame went to the very few children who were unvaccinated that contracted it as well.

Did you know that getting chicken pox as a child will boost your immune system and help stave off shingles and other diseases? It will inoculate you naturally against other much worse health issues.

Why are vaccines the only medication they give with no regard for health, age, size, genetics. It is the only medication that is a standard dose for everyone at the exact stage of life regardless of their immune system, their current health status, or anything. That makes no sense. These are children. They are the most sensitive of our species except for the elderly and health compromised. The MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) shots used to be given out singly and they did not have high autism reports until they combined them. Coincidence? Maybe.

But the CDC whistleblowers came out against that and stated that testing proved without a doubt that black boys were indeed highly succeptible and did suffer autism at much higher rates after the MMR vaccine. Boys are genetically more sensitive than girls as it is and every case that I’ve personally known of vaccines causing autism has been with boys (granted only two first hand knowledge but isn’t that two too many?).

There is a hysteria right now about measles. They want to pass a law that would make not getting vaccines almost impossible. For one they want you to have a doctor sign off on it. Doctors are the ones being pushed to give these, they are being looked at closely by big pharma. The more signatures they give the closer they will get to having their licenses pulled. I wish I were joking, but this is the point we are getting to in this world.

The propaganda is ridiculous. I watch. I don’t worry because….well so be it, I guess. I can only do so much from my little speck of dust. I try calling my politicians. They don’t care. They don’t return calls or emails. Their mind is set, their pockets are lined. They don’t give two asses what I think or want; constituent or not.

I find it sad. Those vaccines have so much junk and toxins in them. The pharmaceutical companies don’t give two fucks about the populace. They aren’t in it for the greater good. They are in it for their pocketbooks. They are in it for their shareholders. This has been proven time and time again. I refer you solely to the EpiPen situation. Raising the price over tenfold to $600 for a dose of life-saving medicine should be a crime. Should be…..but….

Here are some vaccine facts.

The unvaccinated rate in Oregon is only under 2.6%.

There are outbreaks from measles every single year. This is not news or noteworthy. Just as there are deaths from the flu, swine or not, every single year. Vaccines do not decrease that, especially not when the efficacy is under 20% on any given year. They produce the shots ahead of time and literally guess at which strains they need to combat. It’s a crap shoot that they get wrong more often than not.

I’m so sick of this being a thing I have to fight for. A right I have to protect over and over. I am giving up hope on this one. They have more money, influence and no morality holding them back. I can hardly fight against that. I read the stories of vaccine reactions; death, paralysis, on and on. The stories are out there and these people have zero recourse. They are legally forced into arbitration if they can even get there and of course it goes against them because “prove it”. No doctor will admit it. No doctor will put their career on the line for a single patient. It won’t happen. And so it goes. So it continues. Til death do us part world. Do what you will.

Do what you will.

Pegging, fetishes and kitchen sink faucets (long)

Brad asked me “what do you want for your birthday?” and I said “a new kitchen sink faucet or a beach getaway”. I’ve never been one of those girls that are all “nothing, or whatever …I don’t care”. Nope. I know what I want and need and it’s like I told him before. “If we get to the point where I am not arguing with you or defending my opinion when I think you’re wrong then I’ve completely given up on this relationship.”

Same with gifts. If I don’t tell you what I want then I’ve given up all hope that you can follow simple directions and I’d rather not be disappointed. I’m a practical girl. I told him a month in advance so he can figure it out and start saving his pennies.

——-

I want to peg Brad soon. He brought it up jokingly recently. He had been talking about how great his bowel movement was that morning and how great he felt so when he brought up pegging later that day I reminded him about how empty he was and that I wasn’t gonna be pushing up against anything or pushing anything back in. Of course this is also why people do enemas before ass play. Makes for a cleaner and more comfortable experience.

—–

My client recently accused me of having a shit fetish. I laughed so hard. I absolutely do NOT have a shit fetish. I just happen to believe that paying attention to what comes out is equally important to what goes in and a very important barometer for overall health. But when I clean my equipment I wear scrubs and use a surgical mask and gloves and I’m not jumping for joy or anything. It’s work; strictly and exclusively and I don’t take it lightly.

I should use the same care sexually but I don’t for many reasons. The least of which is that outfitted like a surgical nurse isn’t sexual to me at all*. I do insist my men douche or clean themselves thoroughly prior to ass play and yes it can still get quite dirty, but it comes with the territory.

Would I exclude it if I could? Yes. Absolutely. You think I want shit in my bed? Lol. Just makes for more clean-up which is not what I need in my life. Which is also why I prefer to do ass play not in my own bed. Te he he.

Look…..I didn’t invent sex and I haven’t perfected it either. Nor am I doing anything millions before me haven’t done. It’s enjoyable. But to clarify….my ass play fetish is about it feeling good. It involves nerves and prostates and sexual pleasure. Shit just comes with the territory….kind of like life in general. Lol

—–

My shrink and my dad are both happy I’m with Brad. Sylvia because she thinks I’m more stable and at the very least not trolling for sex (my words). My dad because he thinks men provide financial stability and safety for women and he wants the girls and I to be “taken care of” (his words). This from the man going on wife number 4 mind you.

I find it funny how just two weeks ago on break-up number (way too many) I was fine thinking I’d never see him again. I was sad but I was fine. Life goes on. I was making other plans….and now I’m so happy with him. Even working on the bathroom sink for two hours yesterday was fun. Is it always going to be fun? No. Relationships are complex because people are complex, but for now this is good.

If we were to break up again so be it. I don’t think we will make it past once or twice more because the yo-yo thing is exhausting and I’d rather be miserable without him than trying to make something work that doesn’t want to work. I have finite energy for drama. But things are actually better than ever.

He listens to me. He follows my lead emotionally. He stops himself when I ask him to. This isn’t one sided though. I listen to him better too. I take the time to put down my guards and let him in and we get to this place where we are both happy. It’s easier than we both thought. I think we were both overthinking it too much before.

But… I’m also not at the point where I feel like I can’t live without him. Honestly though, I never want to get to that point. Because anything can happen and I have to be fine on my own. I want to be fine on my own. It means everything to me that I can be self-sufficient, even if I don’t have to be. Even if I don’t always want to be…but just to know I am ok alone is a necessary part of my own mental health.

So I’m so happy that the two people who truly only have my own happiness in mind; that have no pretenses or reason to sabbotage me, that only have genuine concern for my well being are happy to see me with Brad. It makes me happy…… it truly does. And as long as the boi keeps me happy and is a positive influence on my life and a good male role model for the girls I’m happy to have him around.

There are no absolutes in life. So I try not to take anything for granted but I also don’t let it get me down or weigh on me. I’m rising with the tide and sluffing off any dead weight. It’s my time to rise….. however that needs to happen and with whoever wants to be at my side; that encourages and helps me be the best me possible.

And yes….I know…..it’s not all about me….but then again…..isn’t it? Lol

It’s a beautiful day. I’m going outside.

Enjoy yourselves!! 💋💖🌈🥰🙏🏽🌷

—-

*If you have these fetishes great, I’m not judging. They just aren’t mine.

Douchy cussing hot mama

Brad is on his way. Breakfast, sex, work and honey do’s. Not sure the order.

He doesn’t usually let me pay but his finances are tight right now too. The only reason I like paying is that I get to treat him like some men historically have treated women. I do it not to disrespect him, I do it solely for pure fun and enjoyment. I laugh hysterically. I’m all “what do you need baby?”, “What can I buy you?”. “Let me get that for you sweetness.”. “Is that all you want baby, get something more.”

I have to be careful. He asked for a riding lawnmower when we went to Home Depot*. We like to go and walk around and look at all the cool stuff. Inevitably we always buy something. They had gloves on sale last time which I always need for work.

——

I’ve cussed a lot this morning. Out loud too, like a crazy person. I was talking to my self-doubt and the voices that “doom and gloom” me. I’m all “FUCK YOU” and I offer contradictory information and it shuts the fuck up. Thankfully. But then it creeps back and again “GO TO HELL!”. I don’t need this. I want to stay positive yet the thoughts drift in. Oh well. It be that way sometimes.

Now…gotta fix my hair while my tummy grumbles. I get to enjoy breakfast made by a professional. Always a nice treat. Gotta ask who is gonna pay ahead of time. I think it’s worth paying today. I need the laugh.

—–

*Don’t worry. He already has one, this one was all jacked up and cool looking. Because that’s worth $2600. 🙄🤪😂