Weird and lucid dreams, air drying, romance please

I had some funky dreams: both gross and stressful. I always take dreams as a sign I’ve slept well and like in real life the most memorable ones are the ones on both sides of the spectrum. I would love to have more lucid dreams. I haven’t had all that many of them but when I do I make it a point to fly. There is no feeling like flying.

I had a friend who would purposely set his intention every night to lucid dream just to have sex. I myself caught myself dreaming once while engaged in the act and told myself to orgasm. It’s one of the few times I’ve managed to climax in my dreams.

Supposedly you can do all kinds of work on yourself while dreaming. I feel like I’m already so engaged in self help that I want to allow my subconscious to just do as it pleases at night. I recognize I could be harnessing it’s power. One more thing to add to the list. Lol. Maybe when my life slows down a little I’ll try it. I’m just happy to not be having insomnia spells right now.

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I’m air drying in Brad’s shower right now as I write this. All his towels smell like laundry detergent and softener. I can’t handle those chemical scents. They overload my system. Go figure that one. I had my only ever asthma attack trying to sleep at someone’s house with heavily scented sheets. I was also under a lot of stress then too; with my in-laws in town. But the scents were the main culprit. Funny that when the doctor did the lung capacity test and told me I had asthma I laughed and didn’t believe him…until that happened.

7 years of a diagnosis with only one episode makes anyone a bit suspect but I guess there was some validity there. I don’t discount Western medicine completely. I just distrust most of it, with some major exceptions…like emergency situations.

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I was thinking that the most fun I had the other night in the snow was when I started dancing. The music was pretty good that they had on the loudspeakers and as far as I’m concerned any place is a good dance floor. The kids get so embarrassed sometimes. Brad then decided to dance around me like Gomez dances around Morticia. It was so funny and silly and romantic. Romance to me isn’t expensive dinners, flowers and chocolates.

Don’t get me wrong. I do like those things, somewhat, but mostly it involves those silly little things that are purposely done just for me. Like when he noticed me sweating in his bed one night and woke me up to change my shirt. It was such a beautiful gesture. I felt so loved and taken care of.

Romance is not dead. Viva la France!!

Farts

Does anyone else like the smell of their own farts? Mine could sometimes clear a large room too…easily. Lol

Clients ask me sometimes if I mind the smell in my line of work. Truthfully, the treatment room once in a while does get a little odiforous if a seal isn’t created by the towel over their nethers. Luckily it doesn’t bother me one bit, but that’s not to say I enjoy it either. I’ve just had three kids, pets, and enema use for almost a decade. If these things bothered me I’d be in the wrong field.

Still doesn’t explain why I like my own farts. Lol. Not like I’m going to bottle them and use it as perfume. It’s more a funny anecdote I should probably not be sharing. It’s just so funny to me.

Thanks (I guess) – healing energy

I was in my Pranic Healing level 1 class and we were working in pairs. We were clearing each other’s energies. For some reason and I’m guessing because I explained that I’ve had a few unexplainable instances of healing people it seemed most everyone wanted to work with me. It was flattering and intimidating at the same time.

We finally were getting into the meat of it and I was clearing my partners energy when she had a massive reaction. She broke out in a sweat, had to sit down and began crying. At first I felt bad and apologized and then I realized that this was (although intense for her) a good thing. She cleared out some very bad energy. Did I know what the heck I was doing? Not really.

I was doing the protocol as we were asked to do it. Was I feeling anything special or noteworthy while I was doing it? No, not really. Not more so than anything else I had been doing all day. No one else had a similar reaction, not even the students that were being cleared by the teacher, not to mention several other students were teachers and healers by trade.

Honestly it confuses me. Shouldn’t I know what I’m doing? Shouldn’t I feel it when I’m healing someone or they have that kind of reaction.

I was working with another client the other day. A colonic client and I did my own rendition of an energy prayer over him and I swear to God he had a pep to his step and a huge smile afterwards. I have been treating this man for months and never seen him smile like that or move so fast. I disregarded it because frankly what else am I suppose to do? I have no idea how it’s happening. It’s just the strangest thing to me.

Through my mild discomfort and intense confusion I am still grateful. I am realizing that intuitively I’ve done a lot of these healing techniques all my life. I’ve used salt as a healing tool for over 30 years without anyone ever telling me how to even use it. Supposedly my great aunt was a famous white witch in the slums of New York. I never met the woman. And supposedly my great grandmother was a native Mayan Indian that practiced native healing techniques. I haven’t verified either.

I honestly have no idea. I can’t rightfully say what is happening or why. So I don’t feel I can take credit really. It doesn’t feel like it’s me really doing anything. If that makes any sense. Lol

For now I suppose I’ll offer the healing as an adjunct or using my clients as guinie pigs. However you want to see it.

The teacher says as I use it more I’ll become more in tune with the energy and be able to have mastery over it. I suppose that is my aim here, I’m not sure why that scares me a little. I guess we’ll keep going forward and see what happens.

Wishing you a miracle or two. 💋💖

So worth it

Today could have been a stressful day…. but it truly wasn’t. It had it’s moments but overall it was so much fun. I didn’t last long tubing, but the snow was beautiful and seeing the smiles on my angels faces made it all worthwhile. Brad is so good with them too. I want to cry. Things aren’t perfect. Far from it actually. But right now I’m going to just enjoy this moment of bliss. Thankfulness has a way of making life beautiful.

More and more and more

We created 4 more alter ego’s for both of us last night. Boy was that fun.

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Brad got paranoid that because I gave him THC and CBD that he would test positive on a drug test since he thinks he is applying for jobs. With his severe pain and back issues I can’t see him working 10 hour shifts, even in a supervisor capacity, but the man is stubborn and also needs the money….I’m guessing now even more with me in his life. If he actually gets this job he is suppose to be applying for and can stick with it we could theoretically get married and be financially stable. No one likes financial instability. I get it.

I guess we’ll see about all of that. Meanwhile going to have to switch him to exclusively CBD and research if that shows on tests. Maybe buy some test strips on Amazon. Stupid fucking asinine government regulations. Why can’t people manage their pain with something that works and has no harmful side effects? Why is that illegal? Alcohol kills tons of people and is perfectly legal. This world is patheticly backwards.

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Right this second we are racing against time to get the girls to the snow before it gets dark and before school starts next week. I wanted to do one special thing with them during the holiday break. I have a ton of work starting tomorrow.

So this is the only day.

Damn sex life!

Brad and I were too busy fucking all last night and all this morning. I dressed him up like a girl last night and called him my cockslut. I whipped his ass and it turned a nice pink. I whipped his balls softly and rythmically the entire duration of “Way Down We Go” by Kaleo. It was heaven.

He has been telling me when we switch that he is going to bring 5 friends over to fuck me. That I have to be naked when they get here and they might hurt me. That I will have all my holes filled and I will be daddy’s good little girl for them. The thought is fucking hot as hell, but I’m secretly so glad he doesn’t have friends like that. Lol

We wore matching thongs in his Jacuzzi last night and only that. It was so fucking hot. I tried to find his prostate to milk him in his asshole. I’ll need to do some more research. Not a lot up in there as far as trigger points it seemed to me. Must be subtle. I was told it was easy. Maybe it’s a bit elusive, like the g-spot. I’ll figure this out. Determination is my middle name. Lol

Hope you’re enjoying winter!

Nonsomnia, alter-ego’s, new dawn

I realized today I haven’t had a bout of insomnia in a bit. Yay!

(Rated XXX – pedophilia alert – reader advised)

I decided because Brad and I switch so much between D/s characters that I would create alter-ego’s for myself. It plays into the games we already play only it adds even more dimension to them. I’m excited to see where it goes and how many more I can create for our sexual play. We are starting with two.

April: sweet little daddy’s girl. Percocious and naive, anxious to explore her sexuality. So proud of her budding new curves that attract men to her like honey to bears. She utilizes her newfound power to taunt her father mercilessly. Often wearing no bra and see through tops, with no bottoms over her cute ruffled underwear. She leaves the door slightly ajar as she takes a bubble bath when mom isn’t home so he can watch her sud her supple perky breasts and play with herself. He visits her room late at night and teaches her about her body and the pleasures it holds.

Tabitha: the voluptuous nosy neighbor stuck in a boring and sexless marriage. She utilizes her knowledge of what is happening to blackmail April’s father into performing sex acts, torturing him, and forcing him to perform menial tasks around her house. She keeps him naked and chained as much as she can. She is absolutely ruthless with him, often times leaving him so scarred and spent he can’t even touch himself let alone think of doing anything else.

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One would maybe ask why I play characters that hit far too close to home. Well….. for one it’s cathartic, and secondly it’s hot. The first character is actually the hardest for me but not in the way you’d think. It is hard because my body is no where near the body of a perky teenagers. So it takes a lot of trust to stabilize my own already present anxiety regarding this.

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Truth is……

it does no good to pretend your fears and anxieties don’t exist, to pretend things that are happening aren’t happening. It does absolutely no good. You have to learn to deal with them as healthily as possible…. for everyone’s sake….. especially your own. Right?

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Nina Simone – Feeling Good

Vacation Mode Over!

I just woke up!! It’s 1pm. This shedding blood thing does wear me out and that man that fucks me all kinds of wrong does as well. Mmmmmmm

I forget because he’s such a teary teady bear emotionally how much bigger and stonger than me he is and when he pins me down and shoves his huge cock deep down my throat suffocating me, slapping my face hard with it and torments my nipples, pussy and ass….

all I can do is squirm helplessly trying to get away, trying to get moments of relief. He can be ruthless and I vacilate between giving myself completely to it and trying desperately to get away from the pain. It’s heavenly but physically, mentally and emotionally gruelling as well.

Then when the pain reaches a point where I question everything and the moment I go beyond that into subspace and float into the bliss of it all. It reminds me a bit of running and hitting “the wall”. Everything in you is telling you to stop, to quit. Your body reels, your mind screams at you, your emotions are raw and yet you force yourself beyond what everything is saying is your very limit and then the rush of endorphines comes and you feel fucking extroardinary. You feel magical. You can’t even feel your feet because you are literally floating on natural drugs. I miss running!

I need to get my ass back in the gym. Wonder if that will be today. I have so much to do. I have my monthly equipment maintenance, have to get that eBay sale package out, take little munchie to her dr. appt, return a bunch of phone calls.

But….I feel great. Can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling so well rested. But no time to relax in bed. Vacation mode is officially over. The little one wants a real meal, the teenager wants a ride to her boyfriend’s.

Off we go to a the new adventure of another day.

💋💖