New normal & sex again

Every relationship travels through phases. Just like we change as individuals, relationship dynamics change as well.

Brad and I had a great first month, off the charts sexual madness and genuine bonding. Things started to falter quickly after I purposely set out to find his weaknesses. (Note to self: no need go on that hunt.) The damage was done. Once you open Pandora’s box it will not close of its own account.

So anyway. All that did was bring to surface anxieties that were bound to be; only they came much quicker than needed to and would have happened on their own. It’s fine. At that exact moment it’s simply what needed to happen. I can see that clearly.

So over the last few months we’ve been seeing a new normal for us. One where we are trying to incorporate a more real and day to day kind of relationship. Not so much fireworks or newness, but rather fitting each other into our every day existence. This is not an easy endeavor for two very stubborn, opinionated and independent people but we’re still here…together (even if not in the spacial way).

Last night I gave him a session of BDSM. We were long overdue. First I made him get the space ready; bed ready, toys out, lighting right. Then I asked him to get naked and lay on the bed on his back. I remained fully dressed; I even kept my hat and socks on. I started him with an eye cover and ball gag. Then I tied his arms and feet to all 4 corners of the bed. I asked him to show me his hand signals.

And we began. I whipped him, spanked him, slapped him, spit in his face, pinched his nipples and made him scream and writhe in pain. All the time reminding him who was in charge in this relationship. Who made the rules, who enforced the rules, who followed the rules. I reminded him that he needs to carry this outside the bedroom. I am absolutely NOT to be questioned or second guessed anymore unless he is sure I am not only wrong but that my error is of dire consequences.

Barring that he is to simply agree with me. I made sure that he grasped this point. I have NO need in my life for a devil’s advocate. Where I to have that need I would ask him for it expressly. I need a partner, a friend, a supporter, someone I can trust with my thoughts and ideas and know will not shoot them down or provide unwanted contradiction to. Wanted opinions are completely different. I (almost) always communicate my needs and he is starting to understand me better, so this shouldn’t be too hard to grasp.

This was a very important lesson I hope he learned because if not we will need to reinforce it and while I’m happy to play…..I am not happy to have to repeat myself over and over.

When I felt satisfied. After sounding him and playing with his ass and ice I got naked and had him rub my back. It wasn’t long before he was inside of me. It felt so good and sounded so wet with the fair amount of blood squishing around. His cock inside of me felt so very nice. We ended up the evening with his fingers in my ass and vagina while I had the vibrator on my clit and his mouth on my breast. It was a beautiful sensory overload. When I couldn’t breath I pushed his hands and mouth away and he jacked off on my face while I orgasmed with my bullet. Then he plunged into me while still hard and ejaculating and I was riding out my final waves. It was heavenly.

The whole thing start to finish was so fulfilling: sexually, emotionally, mentally. I felt so much of my frustration fall away, between the outlining of our correct dynamic (airing of my grievances), the touch, play, tenderness and final orgasm. I enjoy that our sex life can be such a pleasant and deeply satisfying surprise still.

I never know what’s coming, even when I lead…..funny as that seems. What needs to happen just happens to our mutual satisfaction, even when he doesn’t orgasm, which is still usually the case. He does enjoy masturbating and cums much easier that way.

Unfortunately, he has been neglecting to tell me when he is orgasming, edging or just playing with himself without me. I’m not sure if it’s because he feels judged one way or the other. I don’t judge him truly. It’s just that I also don’t want all our conversations to revolve around sex either. There is a line there, for me. A point where even I’m like “alright already”. I’m not so sure he has that line. Lol

I guess we shall see where this all continues to lead.

Why does this scare me?

So prisoners have no right? First they come for the weak and defenseless. But what do I know?

And yes…..

I know…I know…if you have nothing to hide why should you care? Because I just do. Because I like my rights. I like my anonymity. Because everything they claim to want to use for good can be also used for evil. But whatever. Not gonna worry about it. What can I do?

On a roll….stripper pharma sales rep lap dances…..óle

I’m sorry. I’m in a sharing mood.

My only question here is…was she required to do this or did she want to and did she get the business and a bonus? Guess I should go back and read it all. It’s just too funny…..hey a girl’s gotta use her attributes. Right? Isn’t that what everyone does. That females use their bodies*….well…..this isn’t news to anyone is it?

It shouldn’t be required……is all I’m saying, but then again…..some jobs are just that. 😂🤣😂

*like women are the only ones to do that. If you seriously believe that then you’ve never been to a gay club? Lol (not that they’re the only ones too mind you)..

Fresh Blood


I didn’t think I was due for a bit. I’ve usually been like clockwork about that, but hey….I’ll take it. I’m always glad to see it come. Actually explains a lot*. Phew….

And even though I’m not having that much sex and even though Brad is fixed it still makes me happy to see it. It’s all part of the ride. I’m just enjoying it.

I’m weird. I know. You hear it enough times you just have to own it. Whatever. Maybe one day it will be worth something. Now that will be a funny day to see.


* I’m probably just syncing up with my chiclet. Funny how that works. That’s all we need. A bunch of women all cranky and wanting chocolate at the same time. Maybe we should just grab some kleenex and watch some sad movies or a comedy. Either way, pass the Godiva box please.

Apple/Google versus Facebook

The way I see it. Someone is gunning for Facebook. Again….I have no issue here. I find it funny. But so many articles are coming after Facebook for invasion of privacy when every single one of those major companies, every carrier, every giant corporation and the government all want the exact same information. All for their own nefarious reasons, based around control and money; because (news flash) that’s the way this world seems to be.

I find it hysterical except when it starts to piss me off.

Last night I realized that my phone would turn off the screen if it did not see my face. The camera was activated in the background. So I disabled every app from accessing my audio, location, camera, contacts, etc. Every app that absolutely did not need that information I disabled, including Google play, which is one way Google accesses, gathers and distributes information as well.

So now every 10 minutes the phone reminds me I disabled Google Play from having access to my settings….as if I did it by accident. My phone still functions exactly as I need it to and should I need I can go back and reverse this case by case. I’m actually surprised I was even given that much authority over my own personal information, pictures and data. I’m surprised they don’t have the power to just take it.

Sneaky ass bastards. If the Amish weren’t so hell bent on stupid ass misogynistic rules and intolerance of gays and other such idiocies I’d say they have it right. Maybe living in a cave like the fabled Buddhist monk (did?) isn’t the worst thing. I swear!!!!


Sometimes I get mad. What can I say?

The plot thickens – Venezuela

So Maduro (President of Venezuela) and the US are at it. The US wants to basically back a coo. So Maduro just sent what I’m guessing amounts to “protection money” to Russia because if he just wanted the money safe it would have gone into a shelter or Switzerland. So now it’s public knowledge which makes it even weirder because these things usually get buried. Such intrigue. Where is that damn popcorn?

If this coo goes south who will be blamed? Where will these people go to for help? Why are we getting involved? These are the things I hate. Why do our politicians get to decide our involvement with other countries without any public say? Especially at this level!!! You assholes are suppose to represent me (and you and all the you’s that live here). I don’t remember being asked about this.

Wasn’t it some great past president’s legacy that we never get involved. I believe he meant no soldiers shed blood or something. The people in power do what the people in power want to do. Seem to always have. Seem to always do. Who are the real idiots here?

No butter on mine please.

I guess we’ll let this play out. People seem to love a good bloodshed. But I’m just going by people’s deeds.

Does everyone in Washington get that Russia is involved now? Maybe it’s a good thing Trump is besties with him. I really don’t get this thing. Underhanded, sneaky, manipulative, evil thing politics can be. I dodged that bullet. Maybe I don’t want my own kingdom after all.

Why has no one brought me popcorn yet? I just need a few good apostles maybe or in my case *slaves. Lol. 🤣🤣🤣


*sex?- ……

I’m so horny!!!!

Yesterday I just wanted to be held. Today that got upgraded to fucked. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Laura Ingraham…..are you always so funny?

I just read this story. OMG. Hysterical. Best morning read I’ve had in ages. The entire article had me in stitches beginning to end, but what she actually said truly struck me. That last part of that last line….was it purposely subversive or am I reading into things? Was she really telling them to start illegally sheltering their money? Not that they need to be told I’m sure. Aren’t they all doing that already? IDK. Do I even care? It’s fucking hysterical……to me. 🤣. (Maybe I should watch it).

We have CEOs, Frank, that are running for cover. I mean, these CEOs, who have been doing well in the Trump economy, they better get out there, get out from under their desks and start defending this way of life in this country or they’re gonna find themselves, I guess, running for the next plane to the Bahamas or somewhere else they can hide their money.” – Laura Ingraham