Every relationship travels through phases. Just like we change as individuals, relationship dynamics change as well.
Brad and I had a great first month, off the charts sexual madness and genuine bonding. Things started to falter quickly after I purposely set out to find his weaknesses. (Note to self: no need go on that hunt.) The damage was done. Once you open Pandora’s box it will not close of its own account.
So anyway. All that did was bring to surface anxieties that were bound to be; only they came much quicker than needed to and would have happened on their own. It’s fine. At that exact moment it’s simply what needed to happen. I can see that clearly.
So over the last few months we’ve been seeing a new normal for us. One where we are trying to incorporate a more real and day to day kind of relationship. Not so much fireworks or newness, but rather fitting each other into our every day existence. This is not an easy endeavor for two very stubborn, opinionated and independent people but we’re still here…together (even if not in the spacial way).
Last night I gave him a session of BDSM. We were long overdue. First I made him get the space ready; bed ready, toys out, lighting right. Then I asked him to get naked and lay on the bed on his back. I remained fully dressed; I even kept my hat and socks on. I started him with an eye cover and ball gag. Then I tied his arms and feet to all 4 corners of the bed. I asked him to show me his hand signals.
And we began. I whipped him, spanked him, slapped him, spit in his face, pinched his nipples and made him scream and writhe in pain. All the time reminding him who was in charge in this relationship. Who made the rules, who enforced the rules, who followed the rules. I reminded him that he needs to carry this outside the bedroom. I am absolutely NOT to be questioned or second guessed anymore unless he is sure I am not only wrong but that my error is of dire consequences.
Barring that he is to simply agree with me. I made sure that he grasped this point. I have NO need in my life for a devil’s advocate. Where I to have that need I would ask him for it expressly. I need a partner, a friend, a supporter, someone I can trust with my thoughts and ideas and know will not shoot them down or provide unwanted contradiction to. Wanted opinions are completely different. I (almost) always communicate my needs and he is starting to understand me better, so this shouldn’t be too hard to grasp.
This was a very important lesson I hope he learned because if not we will need to reinforce it and while I’m happy to play…..I am not happy to have to repeat myself over and over.
When I felt satisfied. After sounding him and playing with his ass and ice I got naked and had him rub my back. It wasn’t long before he was inside of me. It felt so good and sounded so wet with the fair amount of blood squishing around. His cock inside of me felt so very nice. We ended up the evening with his fingers in my ass and vagina while I had the vibrator on my clit and his mouth on my breast. It was a beautiful sensory overload. When I couldn’t breath I pushed his hands and mouth away and he jacked off on my face while I orgasmed with my bullet. Then he plunged into me while still hard and ejaculating and I was riding out my final waves. It was heavenly.
The whole thing start to finish was so fulfilling: sexually, emotionally, mentally. I felt so much of my frustration fall away, between the outlining of our correct dynamic (airing of my grievances), the touch, play, tenderness and final orgasm. I enjoy that our sex life can be such a pleasant and deeply satisfying surprise still.
I never know what’s coming, even when I lead…..funny as that seems. What needs to happen just happens to our mutual satisfaction, even when he doesn’t orgasm, which is still usually the case. He does enjoy masturbating and cums much easier that way.
Unfortunately, he has been neglecting to tell me when he is orgasming, edging or just playing with himself without me. I’m not sure if it’s because he feels judged one way or the other. I don’t judge him truly. It’s just that I also don’t want all our conversations to revolve around sex either. There is a line there, for me. A point where even I’m like “alright already”. I’m not so sure he has that line. Lol
I guess we shall see where this all continues to lead.