Teleport back

The time will come unfortunately

But

Right now

We must realize that a lot of our behavior patterns and beliefs about ourselves and our environment go back to years before we even have memory. So how are we to know why we do some of the things we do and act the way we act and say the things we say. It’s all buried under layers of past.

Even teleporting sounds like way too much work to me.

We are all just doing the best we can right? I’m guessing I mean. Seems to be what’s happening.

Why can’t we all just fucking get along?

Maybe I am naive

Maybe they can’t all be win/win’s

But sometimes when one loses

We all lose

The weak link wasn’t meant to say “just cut out the link and move on”. I think biblically, spiritually, it is meant as “let us strengthen”…….

But…..what do I know?

(That’s rhetorical FYI 😝)

All for accountability

I am all for accountability, but the hypocrisy is hysterical to me.

We expect governments and corporations and the rich and elite to be accountable when no one else wants to be. Right?

When that changes….when people start fucking owning up to their own shit, making amends and being authentic then….and even then it’s a huge maybe…. the world will change.

But as long as we are all…”nope not me… them” about everything….well. It’s all just funny to me. And not really in a ha ha way…but I choose to laugh all the same.

The wrecking ball to the lies and distortion has to start somewhere. Stop pointing your guns and take a good hard deep reassessment.

It ain’t always pretty. But….. anyway. The day goes on. Doesn’t it? So far at least. πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ˜ŽπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Eventually we will all be accountable anyway. So really. πŸ¦‹πŸ™πŸ½πŸ’–

Personally I fail to see how destroying Facebook will resolve anything. Who is at the end of this game? I got no skin in it but watching is fun. Someone pass the popcorn.

No butter, just salt, non-GMO please. Raw milk, artisanal, hand- crafted, free range, organic goat butter aside……it’s funny. Isn’t it? Come on.

Nina Simone – “I’m feeling good”

Paranoia & Boone’s Farm

Hey…..I’m not oblivious. If anything I (personally) think I’m better informed than the average person. I was reading this article about 6 government websites being hacked and an “emergency directive” being given to all government agencies.

I myself have been wondering why my computer has been soft booting all night long. I’m about to start physically turning it off now each night as inconvenient as that may be….which fortunately is truly minimal anyway. Just reminds me how anything can be hacked, routers and anything with Wi-Fi capacity basically…right?

The thing is……in this kooky world I don’t have a heck of a lot of control over things. I’m not driving the bus really. I can only choose how I want to live this one little life: scared, panicked and afraid, or bold and happy. It take balls to be happy sometimes in this crazy ass circus of existing.

Don’t we all just want to be happy? Honestly I’ve never met someone that didn’t. Just that we all have different ideas of what that means is all. But when you strip away the dust, clear the cobwebs, and get to the heart of it. We all just want to be appreciated and loved, we all want to matter. I guess it may seem too simplistic to say that this has to start from within…..but I’m a simplistic kind of girl sometimes.

It’s a simple lesson we should all learn at some point in time. It would make a huge difference if we all did.

—–

Sometimes I just say this shit for my own comfort and reminding. Sometimes it helps to relearn the basics. Lol πŸ€£πŸ˜ŽπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

——–

I think Lady Earl should have primrose in it too as well as the citrus. But then again I may just need to stick to Earl Grey and add citrus. Potato=potato. No reason to make a huge fuss about it, now is there?

If you’d have told me 20 years ago I’d be an avid tea enthusiast I would have rolled on the floor laughing after taking a huge swig of my cheap wine. What was that stuff called? Boone’s Farm? Lol. Too funny.

Reaching out

I feel like I set myself up for failure sometimes in this life

With not enough sleep

Not enough exercise

Not enough clean food

And good hydration

Not enough meditation

I leave the house always starting out five minutes behind; at least

Lol

It’s all very funny

Until it isn’t

I forgot to say goodbye to the little girls that helped

I didn’t say hello to the cute family eating alone

I tried to listen to what I was told

But the lights

The noises

It all overwhelms me

And I didn’t eat breakfast

And my anxiety was creeping up on me

Which sometimes inhibits me

Or at least doesn’t bring out my true authenticity

But I’m trying

“I’m trying world…you hear me”

At the end of the day

That’s all I have in me

God forgive me

I hope that’s enough

Most days I’m just glad the house is still standing

And my kids are all in one piece

and I’m home to enjoy

the quiet night

That engulfs me in peaceful rememberance of the day

Rich to be rich

I like the life money affords one

But some of the most love I’ve seen

Is born out of much more than anything money can provide

I like money for the stability

And the freedoms it provides

But

Experiences are had person to person

And no amount of money makes those

Relationships more meaningful

The meaning comes from love, camaraderie and compassion/kindness alone.

Searching

I’ve been a bit adrift today.

Just floating with whatever emotion came my way. A few tears escaped my eyes, a few smiles adorned my face, a couple laughs eminated from my belly: all perfectly acceptable. None purposely sought for, none admonished or praised. I just kind of took it easy on myself. Not to say the world obliged continually, but I tried to let it be. Tried being the keyword there. I forgot to fulfil a promise, I yelled at a slow driver. They can’t all be good days.

——–

Tonight I’m searching for inspiration. I was thinking that I need to open up to accepting help. I’ve always been a very resourceful and hard worker. Probably because I had to be; not a lot got simply handed to me in life. I learned to find a way to get what I wanted and that usually involved a lot of physical and mental ingenuity. I didn’t have time to wait it out. I didn’t have the patience for it either.

Now……I often wait too see what life presents, to see where it wants me. I do most times try to lead but things never quite go exactly how I envision them to, better or worse as that may be.

———

I have a little bag of rocks with inspirational words on them. I pulled one out tonight to see what I could focus on. The rock said “double happiness”. I had never seen it before. It’s a common Chinese character and verbiage often attached to weddings. Oh God. That threw me a bit. Brad and I discuss marriage fairly often and then keep breaking up. Which hardly seems conducive to it becoming reality.

But I don’t worry. For one it’s more energy than I want to expend and for seconds as any of you following my blogs for any time know….I HATE worrying. Talk about a useless endeavor. If I had to choose between all useless activities I’d rather count the stars in the sky. In comparison to worrying I think that could actually be of value. Give me a few minutes to think of the ways it would be……

———

Headed into 5 really busy days tomorrow and I haven’t orgasmed since Friday. What good is having a boyfriend if I can’t get fucked and orgasm when I want and need? That wasn’t rhetorical. I honestly don’t have the time or energy to be polyamory but I can definitely see the allure. One day when the kids are off to their own lives maybe I’ll have my one little ranch/farm; with friends and subs and slaves to love and let’s not forget the walking around nakie*. I so love to be nakie.

I was reading an insipirational quote earlier that said “envision your future, set the course, make minor adjustments as needed but let life provide wind for the sail”. But then again; life is what happens when your busy making plans. Lol. Right?

I did stop for a moment and see myself in the sun amidst tall trees in a house set upon the sea and horses I rode on the beach. With acreage to plant and roam and be. I’ve never seen a place in real life like the one I can see clearly in my mind.

However, in my daydreams I am usually alone and…. truthfully as much as I love my solace…as much as I love to ruminate with my thoughts carefree and uninhibited. I also love my fellow human beings, beautiful creatures that we can be when we do things from our deepest center being, when we do things from our heart, when we allow ourselves to be our vulnerable and loving beings.

Double happiness indeed.

——–

I want to walk my walk. I’m just not 100% sure what that is going to take. I guess like all journeys you start somewhere and end up somewhere else… hopefully where you intended or if your lucky…even better.

Do I need an official start? Do I need an official goal? Do I need a clear vision? Do I need a specific plan? None of any of that sounds appealing to me really: not for a spiritual journey.

You now what……

I’m just gonna piss into the wind and hope not all of it falls back onto me. Seems as good a goal as any really. Lol

——-

*Nakie is naked. It’s the way the twins say it in the Rugrats cartoon and movies. They are so cute and funny. I’m a dork. I know.