(I wrote this while really stoned last night. Make of it what you will or dont. Lol)
Honestly some people think I am and you know what. Great. But I’m a grateful bitch.
I feel so blessed in life and more so for my inner life than anything. Because right now I see so many people struggling and while I have had my own struggles, the suicide rates seem to be up, the opiod deaths seem to be up, alcoholism is booming. People seem stressed out and I get it. I feel it too sometimes.
But too, inevitably, at whatever point I’m bound to speak my mind and piss some people off. Or do something stupid without meaning to offend, just living my life, and piss people off. Honestly there is no lack of credit people will sometimes give you for their misery.
But also…….you know…. I live in the United States of America. And to me that means something. It means the freedom to speak my mind. It means the freedom to be able to earn a living and not have to have a man*.
I am so grateful this country allows me the freedom to choose my life as long as it conforms to the laws of wherever jurisdiction I’m under and of course, my own moral codes. I have the right to be pretty much whoever I want to be.
I’m antivax. That’s a big no no right now and yet I am. No one is burning my house down or throwing me into jail or worse. There is civility here, there really is. We do have issues to face. All of us need to look in the mirror and really try to “be best”, individually as people, and as a country. (I will never stop using that, thank you Melania.)
We need to look within for the answers first. Hatred is not the way. Fear is not the way. Apathy is not the way.
We can get there. Don’t ask me how though, but I know we can.
Honestly, life makes little to no sense to me outside the spiritual realm. Even then I’m still learning and growing. Let alone the actual supposed logic of life. With science so often discrediting itself, misguided, and often narrow-sighted.
But life never did make much sense and probably never will and I think the more we acclimate to that the better we will all be.
But what do I know? I’m just a bitch.
(Long as tangeant. Please do not read. Honestly save yourselves now. You’ll thank me for not wasting the next 5 minutes of your life. Guess it depends how fast you read too though.)
*I can live without a man, but I didn’t say well or without assistance. I guess I’ve always been part of the second class of citizens in this nation and I thought I had climbed my way out. But not so.
I’m doing ok right now thanks to government aid and there is yet another thing to be grateful for too. It’s a very small part of the whole puzzle though. The reality of trying to get my life on track.
Stand on my own two feet. Even if it takes two jobs or being a Domme or living out of state or doing whatever it takes to be able to take care of my kids myself and not have to depend on anyone. And even though it’s hard I have that opportunity in this country and I cherish that deeply.
Plus honestly, I love the people here. People are what make a place great. We may have our issues and people may make fun of us but we can be some pretty generous folks. And we can be just as open and helping as other countries are, if not more so. And we are such a hodge podge of races, ideologies, religions, traditions. It’s really quite a wonderfully beautiful cacophony.
I really think we will find a way to bridge these divides we find ourselves in. I really do. The only one I’m unsure of this vaccine mandate thing. I can’t stop thinking of it.
And then also, if China is the new global trade dominance in the world then eventually their advanced weaponry will outpace the footprint of the US or not make our military power all that relevant.
But hey, look I love this country. I’ve met some truly great people here and I’ve met bad people from all over the world. Coke head Russian twin sexual predators, needlessly violent and blatantly corrupt foreign police, the list goes on of the madness other countries also possess.
We aren’t the only crazy ones. That we pretend to be this great country and have one of the worst health systems in the world isn’t really wanted for discussion right now. That we have an astounding economic disparity is so truly sad. But I get it. There’s a pandemic. There are other wars to wage, including star wars.
Maybe I am a bitch. But I’m still pretty damn happy to have the privileges I have that came off the backs of many women before me, like my own mother.
While we still have second class people of all races in this country, second class help is very much needed. Someone has to work at Taco Bell, and be a janitor and all those other disparaged jobs. I just wish they actually provided a living wage. I don’t mind the hard, unforgiving, unrecognized, degrading work, I just want to get paid a living wage for it. So I don’t have to work 3 jobs. I’m sure everyone working them feels the same.
I resorted to cleaning shit for a living to provide for myself and my kids. And yes I enjoyed it, I enjoyed helping people with something I believe in so strongly: colon health, microbiome health, immune health. But let’s be honest, it still was what it was.
But wait …..so why am I a bitch?