I have this rich fantasy world in my head. In there I am lulled by the warmth of a love I have never felt in reality. The closest I’ve ever come is the unconditional love of the parent and child bond and even that pales to the luster of the love I’ve dreamt of my entire life.
Does it even exist?
I was thinking…..
It’s so easy to take the love you have in hand for granted. Especially when you are sure you are deserving of more. But the person showing up for you day in and day out deserves your attention, respect and consideration irregardless of what potential one has to attain better. Don’t they?
Truly, it isn’t until one leaves the comfort of the shore and ventures out into the rough waters of reality that one can truly gauge ones merit and strength.
And as long as one hops from shore to shore or stays in their safe harbor window shopping and hoping for more one can not give themselves fully over to who they are with let alone to something new. At least not unencumbered by guilt or without leaving a wake of pain behind one.
I have no idea how to make my fantasy a reality. So I’ll just keep these swirly, soft cumulus cloud dreams in my head and enjoy the feeling of it.
Contemplating revisiting being a pro Domme again. That’s as far as I’ve gotten with that. Just a passing thought for now. But I have to at least finish up with the eBay clients I have right now. Because I only have so much time and energy and my focus is not great either.
It’s a huge maybe. But it would definitely be fun. So let’s see what happens. Shall we?