I’ve seen a lot of articles and talk recently about how empaths are really just people with borderline personality issues. I’m not going to try to refute this from a scientific perspective. I’m going to admit that looking at the profiles there is a lot of crossover.
But what I have to say to all these stupid labels we love to use here is that I am not broken. I am living out this human experience as best I can given all the circumstances and how the world functions. If anything the world is broken and I have adapted as best I could to the very shitty state of affairs that is the human condition.
I remember this surgeon I was dating a few years ago said to me that I reminded him of his mother, who has a borderline personality, and that he was worried I’d suffer her same fate. She was a beautiful, happy, light in the world until it crushed her and left her bitter, shattered, defeated and beaten. I actually completely understood what he was getting at.
And while that may indeed end up my fate in life it isn’t something I know how to change. I like who I am. I haven’t particularly enjoyed my position in life, the cards I’ve been dealt and the obstacles I’ve had to live through. But to put it back on me like there is a problem with me and not the world is such a victim hating mentality. Not that it surprises me at all really. I’m just pointing out the idiocy of it.
I refuse to take on the labels, any of them. Am I so unique that I don’t fall into any simplistic list within a biased analysis of human defaults? No. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I don’t care. It is what it is. I am who I am. There are reasons for all of this, beyond the stupidies we like to judge ourselves by and box each other into.
Would that I could I would change the world. But I can only, and with difficulties enough already, change myself and grow to truly become happy, comfortable and content within myself in this realm. That’s the control I’ve been given. And I choose to exercise that to my own criteria, not based on some psychoanalytic dribble about my negative attributes.
I know why I am who I am. I’ve accepted the path I’ve been given. I’ve come to terms with the damage that’s been caused. I’ve come to understand my own role in all of it. And I can say with complete certainty that I’m not broken. It’s life that’s broken. It’s this world that is broken. And I can find serenity in that. I didn’t cause all of this. All of this caused me.
And that’s all there is to it.
