Today I woke up to a zoom call with 3 school administrators in regards to resources, services and needs for myself and my kiddos.
I dislike zoom calls.
I don’t even like them when I’m feeling as fierce as Michelle Obama and the camera captures me just right. Even then I’m not comfortable. And I know I can disable my own camera but phycologically I can’t. I want to see what people see.
I got off the zoom wondering to myself “what do I do all day?”.
I feel like I’m always running around doing a million little things and yet things are falling behind or not getting done at all; important things like school and showers and meals. I haven’t even looked at my clients items this month.
And I’m trying not to feel guilty. Normally I am a very capable, organized and responsible person. But right now I’m barely handling the basics. I’m sure my lack of sleep is not helping. I’ll have to address that in a constructive way that’s true to me. Drugs isn’t it or will be the last resort, at least.
Right now I have to give myself much more grace than I ever have before. I need to let it all be ok exactly as it is. Even if it feels like I’m just running in place. Even if I’m feeling like Sisyphus every day. It’s ok. I’m here. Present. Trying. Showing up. Doing the best I can. That’s all that matters now.
Let’s do this. Ok Thursday……come at me. 🤣😝🤣