I don’t know how to flirt

Flirting requires subtlety. I believe I already know how to be seductive in a general sense. And I can be flirtatious one on one when the desire has already been established as mutual. But I just don’t have any clue how to flirt with strangers in a neutral environment. The one time I saw a guy at a bar I was very attracted to I had the bartender replenish his drink on me.

In general, in life, if I really want something or someone I make my intentions clear and go for it. Subtlety really just isn’t my strong suit. And a bar is a different atmosphere than the grocery store or the line at the post office. My dating radar isn’t on alert there. I don’t go out into the world with the intention to meet single men.

Since my divorce I’ve tried dating apps, Fetlife, speed dating and other events and while I did meet a couple men this way only the apps and FetLife led to an actual relationship forming.

I mean is it even possible to meet people organically anymore?

Before marriage all my relationships were formed organically.

I’m going through all this effort and work thinking that online is the best way to meet single men and be able to vet them so as not to have to go on endless dates. But this method doesn’t give any foresight in regards to real chemistry until we meet in real life. It just ensures the logistics and necessary boxes get check marked. But is that better or worse?

I think when people meet organically and feel the pull of chemistry they are more apt to make allowances for all those other “requirements”.

I’ve been thinking of this a lot since yesterday when I said that “if you want to catch fish it helps to use bait.”. But does it? I mean, if something is meant to be it’s meant to be…. no? Fate can’t take what’s meant for you to have. It’s that whole destiny vs statistical probabilities thing that confounds me.

But since I don’t have an answer for that I guess I’ll just plugging along. Lol

Enjoy your day 💋

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “I don’t know how to flirt”

  1. if a guy is submissive most likely he will be waiting for You to move first. maybe because he is shy about being submissive. maybe he lacks the self confidence to go first , maybe even afraid of rejection.
    The right guy is out there and will land on your doorstep. i hope you open the door when he arrives

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m thinking right now I’m more like that Phil Collins song “find a way to my heart” except it would take a preternaturally exceptional man for me to give up my own drives and follow him. And frankly what kind of love would that be? Nahhh…..wrong song….but I’m tucking my heart away for a bit looking for pseudo love. A part-time torrid affair. Something to add magic to my life without the threat of too much heartache. So in that sense I’m not sure about that door. I think the mote I build around it makes it pretty inaccessible right now. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Some guys you might need to be very obvious! They’re the ones you should meet because they’re not good at picking up women😉 Just a thought😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. But I’m not good at picking up men. Plus there is no way to know who is single and looking except for dedicated singles events.

      I’m confident but no one enjoys rejection. In that sense I do feel for guys because they are expected to make the first move.

      Liked by 2 people

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