Hadn’t been to the mall since before Covid-19. A few stores are gone, most noticeably Sears and Nordstrom. They close early now. Not a whole heck of a lot of people there. There was however a shoe store where all shoes are $25 and less and I found the cutest summer slides. We also got massages. I opted for feet, he chose neck and shoulders. It was great.
We were originally going to eat but I had eaten some homemade fish tacos a few hours prior so I was not hungry. I wish we had though because it’s much easier to get a sense of someone over a meal. He checks all the boxes. Probably more than I even need for a FWB situation, but……
He didn’t actively listen to me. It seemed more like he was just waiting to talk. The only time he ever asked any follow up questions about what I said was when I talked about my work. Even when we switched to sex he regaled me with multiple stories of his many, vast exploits but didn’t really seem engaged with what I was saying at all.
I get that I don’t talk much as it is. I don’t like to divulge a lot of personal information. But I also don’t like feeling like the person I’m with has little to no interest in what I’m saying.
That was very disappointing. I was thinking to give him another date but now I’m thinking not. I read somewhere that you should give a person 3 dates to assess true compatibility and likability. But that seems tedious. IDK. If I was looking for a husband I might take that stance but I’m not.
I also put my dating app on pause today. Considering I may have two dates for next week from it I think I’ll stop the process for a moment.
But generally this is how I like to do it.
First we match
Then I send a generic app generated “hello” gif to start the communication and wait for a reply.
This gives him time to look at my profile again and decide if he swiped right correctly and I assume if they engage that they read my bio and know what I am looking for. Which I state very clearly as FWB and that he be single and host. And I even give my availability.
From there before we go into endless banter I try to ascertain if the logistics of what I want are possible. Monday-Friday isn’t compatible. So that knocks a lot of men out right out the bat. Working from home is ok though. This guy is semi-retired so in that aspect it works great.
Then before we engage in too much more jibber jabber I try to get a video chat going. This way I know they look like their photos and get a slight feel for them. Then we move to a date.
First date is almost always dinner or lunch because again it’s the best way to assess their personality, conversational skills, interests, on and on.
Second date can be more intimate but still no sex. Third date sex.
As you can probably guess all along the way men start dropping off the radar. From not matching to not responding to my greeting all the way to ignoring me after I ask for a video chat or simply not wanting to go on a date (which I do get).
For the meal I generally always offer to split the bill or at least leave the tip and I never insist on going anywhere in particular…..so a thrifty guy could get away with being creative and bringing sandwiches and a few blankets to the park.
I have suspended the cycle for this week. Which probably isn’t advisable since the more men coming on que the more can get potentially lined up for a date.
But doesn’t this sound exhausting? Granted there are only 2-5 guys I am actively talking to at any point during this endeavor. As more come on que others fall off.
So right now I’m just going to try to see it as a big game of whack a mole. Eventually the man will show up that I want to take my panties off for and I’ll slug him on the head with my mallet and drag him to bed where I won’t let him up for air for at least a day or so.
I make myself laugh. At least there’s that.
And masturbation meanwhile.