So my cousin called me from Florida. Other than my mom and myself she’s the only one who ever visited my aunt. She was listed as Proxy on some of her paperwork so they’ve been calling her.
She called me because she wants a death certificate. She seemed to just kind of assume that because my mother was in charge I would take over. She offered to give me all the numbers and information she has, but stated that while she may be able to visit our Aunt she can in no way assist financially.
Then she asked me what where the plans for when my aunt dies. I was taken aback but I know from conversations with my mom that my cousin really wants my aunt’s rent controlled apartment.
My aunt pays a bit over $300 for a one bedroom apartment right off Riverside Drive, across from the river in a very nice building in Manhattan. Her neighbors pay almost 10 times what she does.
But she has lived there over 30 years. I am sure the lease stipulates she can not pass it on but I think my cousin wants to be listed as my aunt’s caretaker to get permission to live with her.
Frankly it’s fine with me, but the comment about what to do when she dies is unsettling.
I thanked her and told her that together her and I could try to take care of my aunt to which she didn’t necessarily agree. So I’ll have to tread lightly there. I’m not sure what her motivations are or how much, if any, she truly wants to help with.
But curiously she told me that she herself told my great aunt that my mother had died the weekend after it happened. So why then has my aunt asked me every single time I have called how my mother is doing? And I’ve been hemming and hawing about it trying not to upset her and she already knows. It’s bizarre, but my mother said her dimentia was very progressed.
It shocked my cousin when I told her that too. I, of course, offered to do as much as I can. My mother had a joint bank account with my aunt. So we need to make sure she has enough funds for her cell phone and food. My aunt is rather impossible to talk to. Even my mom complained about that. So I may need to take a trip to NY once I get the death certificate to truly get her affairs settled.
But at least we have some progress there. That entire situation was weighing heavily on me and at least now we have inroads towards me being able to help her. That’s a plus.
I’ll take all the wins I can get❣️