I’m losing weight, but not healthily. I’m just not very hungry. So I haven’t been eating much. Yesterday was the first day I can remember eating two full meals in one day, all this month.
Sometimes it runs right through me, especially if I force myself to eat. Sometimes it makes me nauseous to even think of food.
So, I’m just allowing it to be what it is. As long as I eat once a day I won’t get lightheaded or jittery. But my therapist wants me to exercise. Which has been my own desire for a few years. I just lack the motivation. So yesterday I forced myself to do some floor exercises before I let myself watch TV.
And I’ll keep doing the same every day. It’s a reward/punishment system that works for me. After all, if I truly don’t feel like exercising I’m only giving up watching TV for the day to do so. Seems a good bargain. The space is too small to do exercise and watch TV and I tend to lose focus trying to do that anyway. So this way is better.
I do feel much more comfortable at my current weight. My naturopath has also been toying with my thyroid meds and my energy level feels much better.
Overall I think I’m doing pretty well. Except for one blaring thing. I haven’t been able to fall asleep. So I’m staying up until 2-4am every night. And consequently I’m not waking up in time to get the tartlet onto her morning zoom and we have been missing doing her schoolwork entirely.
Next week that changes. So I will need to reset my sleep. Maybe stay up entirely one night. It also may be the new meds. But I’d rather try and reset my sleep cycle than lower the meds.
This weekend I’m going lingerie shopping with the gentleman I went on a date with last week. He finally stopped trying to get me to Domme him virtually. Which was simply not gonna happen.
He’s nice and intelligent. I really like that I can just be myself, and even when myself is a bit short and bitchy he doesn’t bat an eye. He responds respectfully. He is very enthusiastic. It’s flattering.
Life carries on❣️