for peace of mind and contentment in life. I don’t need to be jubilant. I don’t need to be always thriving and achieving. I can be settled into myself as a person and really just hold neutrality for it all. And I do mean all; from my life to things of much more importance to the most trifle of trifles.
I can hold this neutrality about it that actually confounds me sometimes. Because it doesn’t seem to be how most the world operates. There is avoidance, complicity, intention/purposefulness, passion/desire and aggression. But neutrality is much more complex. Because it is awareness and curiosity about all that is happening all around me with this non-judgemental approach to trying to understand it.
I have emotions. I display emotions. I have opinions; strong ones. But overall I actually do try to see the world this way. And I think people see that as dangerous and naive and I’m not disagreeing a much as the fact that it’s taken me a long time to try to figure out what I want and need and how to be myself and also be happy with who that is.
And for things inside my little tiny realm I am starting to be very much more careful who I let in. And that took a lot of growth. And for the rest…..you know…..I’ve had a lot of really great experiences in life from being open and not guarded.
I try to be even more open, more aware, more understanding so that I can exhibit some amount of compassion in this world.
All things taken into account. I’ve had a hard life but the world has been kind to me: people have been so unbelievably nice to me. I’ve said it before and I maintain that all the way from strangers to friends have helped me in life much more than any family member ever has. And I’m so thankful for that.
So yea. I think maybe I’ll keep aiming for happiness. I mean why not? But I’ll definitely settle for contentment and peace of mind.