I’m irritated as fuck

about this whole dating/sex thing. Do men ever sit and wonder what makes women bitter?

I was talking to a single girlfriend and she puts right in her single app post “no men with ED”. And she said as soon as she did that half the men fell off. Half!

Jeezus

So she usually dates men half her age. Which I’m not opposed to. I have done it and it’s most definitely a lot of fun but….I prefer not to. Just like I prefer to not have a cuckold relationship. Just like I prefer to not be polyamory. Unlike when I say I absolutely won’t date married men.

There are things I’m curious about too. Like what would it be like to date a transvestite? That seems like it would be a lot of fun. What about dating a gay couple; although technically they’d be bi I guess. That whole label thing gets annoying.

On the one side, the world is my oyster. I owe no one anything, other than to my children the responsibility of being safe. Otherwise, I’m free to do as I damn well please. So that’s liberating and gives me hope and anticipation of fun times ahead. Right?

But on the other hand. I don’t care for one night stands. And I’m not super excited to keep putting myself out there when 1) I’m not feeling my best 2) men lie and omit too much important information 3) I’m so sick of being disappointed 4) I’m tired of feeling like I’m wasting my time. And then conversely men seem put off too.

On the dating app I’m like “hey, I’m giving you my attention and time, let’s just see what each other is about” and from a lot of men I get this “you’re just judging me and ticking negative marks against me until you move on so why should I try” feeling. Which I do get but it’s not fun. Dating should be fun, theoretically at least. 🙄

I told this last guy (that I just told to “sod off” basically) that I was going to concentrate on losing weight and then see about maybe dating a submissive.

That does sound like a good plan. But life is full of unstarted good plans. What will I actually do? That’s the question even I can’t answer right now.

I do know I’m taking the rest of the year to reevaluate and set some goals for next year. What those will be I have no idea. Maybe I’ll make categories of goals: simple, realistic, beneficial to my life, fun, and completely unrealistic (as in would probably require a few miracles). Lol

At least I can still laugh. Not bitter yet. So winner, winner chicken dinner!!!! Lol

Ay yay yay

Well…….. whatever, sex is just sex, love would be great, but I guess realistically I have bigger fish to fry right now.

C’est la vie.💋

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

38 thoughts on “I’m irritated as fuck”

  1. Well….you haven’t dated me.

    I’m a fun date. Specifically because if I’m taking the time and energy I WANT TO HAVE FUN and I’m going to do my absolute best to have it.

    I expect and want men to wan to have sex with me. I just want to be respected enough for it to be my decision.

    Men have truly forgotten chivalry though and women have become ungrateful. It’s exactly as you say. The art of compromise is completely lost. The art of romance is pretty much dead.

    It’s sad. I just wanted someone to fuck and hang out with on a temp to hire basis. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As far as I can remember, dating hasn’t been fun since my junior year in high school… and the number one complaint I hear from women is that dating sucks and is so much of a cluster fuck, why even bother? I have observed, from both men and women, that when your list of what you don’t like is larger than your list of things you do like, dating is always going to suck. Men, well, one of the things we ask each other is why can’t we just get laid or secure a woman in our life without going through the Spanish Inquisition that dating has now become… and women ask why we have to be such dishonest assholes and other things that contributes to the suckiness of dating.

    And then, people decide that they have better things to do other than finding someone they can be with if only for one night or longer periods of time. I sit back and see all of this and it makes me scratch my head since, on the one hand, people want and need to date – and for whatever reason they do – and on the other, it’s too much of a hassle to be bothered with… and there’s no solution to it that I’m aware of and, I think, there are senses of entitlement as well as instant gratification that, these days, makes dating worse than I’ve ever seen in my life. Having said all of this, I have likened dating to playing the lottery: You can’t win if you don’t play and even if you play, your chances of winning aren’t all that good. Honesty, such as it is, is always the best policy but being honest can be your downfall, too; people date with their guard up and in full protect mode, hiding all kinds of things from the other person who wants to know about those things that will, hopefully, allow them to make some kind of decision.

    Men, of course, have always gotten the bad rap when it comes to dating and I don’t know of too many men who haven’t asked why it’s such a pain in the ass and I even figured it out to some extent because women do make us jump through hoops in order to convince them that dating or otherwise being with us isn’t going to be the mistake they’ve already decided it’s going to be. The last time I went on a date, oh, my God: I thought I was on trial! The woman sat across from me, cleared her throat, folded her hands on the table in a way I immediately recognized as being trouble on the way and said, “So convince me that you’re really the right guy for me…;” I asked her, “What do you really want to know?” which, for me, makes being on the stand easier but she refused to ask any questions. I did my best to convince her that I wasn’t the asshole she was already assuming I was and, as I recall, I was maybe five minutes into my testimony when I just stopped talking and started looking for the waitperson so I could get the check.

    She asked me what was wrong and I said that her sitting there looking at me like hanging judge was what was wrong; this is supposed to be a two-way conversation and I’m pretty much sitting here talking to myself, that and her body language was telling me that no matter what I said, I wasn’t going to be able to convince her… so, I’m just gonna put both of us out of our misery and thank you for your time and I’m sorry to have wasted it.

    She got pissed with me, not because of what I said, but because I refused to play the game and I told her that I have no patience for it; I have little tolerance for being in a one-sided conversation and knowing that I’m already deemed guilty and unworthy. I then got subjected to what I knew she was gonna say about other men she dated and how they lied to her and all that along with her great need to protect her emotions, so on and so forth. And then she started busting my ass and asking me if I thought she wasn’t worth the effort.

    I just said, “No, it appears that you aren’t since you’ve made it clear that you had no intentions on giving me any real chance of convincing you that I’m not the last guy you dated or whatever. And you wonder why you find yourself having to date?” I have a big problem being honest with someone who isn’t going to believe anything I say… and before I say anything; I very much dislike having to defend being male or, as she did, telling me that all I wanted from her was sex and because that’s the only thing all men want from women; I just sighed and asked her, “Why are you here? Why did you agree to come on the date when you already made up your mind that it was going to be a waste of your time?”

    She didn’t have an answer; I paid the check and asked her to come on so I could take her home. As I drove her back home, she actually said it was my fault that the date didn’t go well – but I knew she’d say that, too. It reminded me that when you go on a date with someone and with the thought in mind to find out – or assume – everything that’s wrong with a person – but not even bothering to find out what might be right or that which you can work with, every time you go on a date, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Every and any time you make it as hard as you can make it for someone to convince you that you’re not the asshole or, yeah, cunt that they’ve already assumed you are, you will always find that dating ain’t worth it.

    You’re always going to be damned if you do and very damned if you don’t. I’ve learned to just put my cards on the table; I have nothing to hide and if I just wanna take you to bed, I will be very honest about that but if I’m looking for more than that, I’ll be honest about that, too… but it’s not going to be my fault if you aren’t going to believe me and even when I know that no matter what your history is with men, you’re gonna have reason not to believe a word I say.

    You see the problem, don’t you? If both men and women are not going to put forth a genuine and earnest effort to see what can be possible, dating is always going to suck; if dating has made you defensive and inflexible, you’re never going to succeed at whatever you went on the date for.

    And if you don’t play the game, you’re never, ever going to have a chance to win anything and if you really and truly don’t like being all by yourself and continuing to be unfulfilled in anything, well, you’re screwed and not even close to a good way – and even if all you wanna do is get screwed. If you give up, you fail and the fault for failure will always lie with you (not you) when you go on a date and it’s in your head that it’s going to go south before the conversation even begins. I don’t have any answers for this or any advise other than it’s better to try and even fail than to never try at all; if you’re not going to approach any date with an open mind, you will fail and if you keep telling yourself that you don’t really need anyone else in order to be happy, you can pretty much kiss your pursuit of happiness goodbye since it’s been long since proven that no one is an island unto themselves.

    I know what makes women bitter and I know that any woman who is bitter is going to blame it all on the other men she’s had to deal with; that makes the “new guy” already guilty of offenses that he has yet to commit and men, sad to say, are often dumb enough to keep proving women right about us being all the same and not worth a damned thing. None of us, generally speaking, make dating easy and I’ve been of a mind to think that we spend so much time thinking about what we want from someone else than we do trying to figure out what we can do together; we have lost the fine art of compromise and we’ve become inflexible in our ability to negotiate; if you ask me if I’m hoping to get you into bed and I say that, yes, I wouldn’t be opposed to bedding you – and then you get offended because I was honest about that – well, you see what the problem is, don’t you? And if I say no and bedding you really isn’t the first thing on my mind, not only might you get offended and think that I think you’re unworthy, chances are you’re not going to believe me.

    No wonder dating sucks and it’s no wonder why so many people fail to find the happiness – or the sex – that they’re looking for and need for their own well-being. These days? If you play the game, you lose and if you don’t play, you lose… and I don’t know what it’s going to take to break this very vicious cycle but what I know is that I don’t like losing and if I’m going to play the game, I’m going to play to win and I’ll even play fairly, not that it’s gonna help much since, again and again, it’s a safe bet that I’m going to be seen as guilty by association and proven guilty before the fact. I have never dated a woman after my junior year in high school (that was back in 1972, by the way) who hasn’t approached the date with that sense of bitterness and defensiveness – never.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t mention that my rather brutal honesty got me laid as well as other dates with her… but you gotta play the game even though it’s a shitty one… but you don’t have to play by the usual rules and one should make rules that will serve to get them what they want and not make it impossible. When you spend your time on a date looking for flaws in the other person – real or imagined – no one wins. The purpose of dating, I think, is for two people to find out what they can have in common and what chemistry they can create together; but what almost everyone does is go on a date and expecting – even demanding – that the right chemistry be present and immediately noticeable – and then nitpicking the shit out of each other and I mean that literally, like, you get a big black mark against you because of how you chew your food. The biggest fail comes with the resistance to communicate in any real meaningful way and then making assumptions without any real and provable facts at hand. If I were to ask you, “What do I have to do or say to convince you that I’m not an asshole?” how would you answer it – and would you answer it? Think about answering the question for me… then pay attention to how you’re putting the answer together and why you’re doing way your are x and including thinking about avoiding answering the question and why you don’t want to answer it.

        You might get a glimpse of why dating is the all-time cluster fuck these days. It serves no purpose when you already decided that you didn’t want to go on the date to begin with, does it?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol. Oh my. Well. I would never go on a date I didn’t want to go on. Attitude check there. Can’t expect good things when you’re mind is in a shitty place.

          That’s a no win questions. I would try to avoid answering it because there is no right answer.

          I don’t know until I spend quality time with someone and have heard them say enough things and then seen confirmation that what they have said is all true. I don’t look for red flags. I look for green flags. In fact I’m probably the opposite of that woman. I probably need more of her attitude because I think I tend to not see red flags very clearly. I tend to give people way too much benefit of the doubt. But that’s me I guess. I’d rather have faith in society, in general, and that includes men. Lol

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I knew you’d avoid answering it and there is a right answer – it’s inside your own head! But avoiding the answer is how the game gets played… and it winds up being a lose/lose situation. I guarantee you that any time you leave a man to his own devices, it’s not going to go well. We don’t read minds and you’d be surprised how many women expect us to know the stuff they won’t tell us. They wanna hear the truth from guys and when they get it, uh, they usually don’t like it – but being untruthful gets you DQ’d, too.

            We’ve made the game so much difficult to engage in…

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Leave a man to his own devices won’t go well…jeezus. That really makes me reconsider dating women.

            So women have to just deal with it. Clueless men that have no idea how to treat a women properly?

            I’ve gone on many, many, many dates. Most men are fine. Some men are assholes. You move on if you don’t find anything worth sticking around for. If I bother to go on a date it’s because I want to actually give the guy a chance and get to see who he is, what his life is about.

            I get that you don’t read minds but I don’t want to have to tell a man the BASIC things he should know. Like offering a woman something to drink or eat after she spends the night and not just throwing her out the the street. Especially if you made plans with her for another date.

            I should not have to tell a man he’s being a douche. I really shouldn’t. If I stopped and trained every idiot male I’d have to get paid because so many are truly clueless.

            Like

          3. Oh, we know… what we don’t know is your idea of being treated properly beyond basic good manners. If you don’t know, then ask… but with the risk of being kicked to the curb since a lot of women expect us know know this and if you gotta ask, well, you’re obviously clueless and all that.

            Liked by 1 person

          4. I agree. You have to learn what each specific woman wants as far as “proper” treatment. But…..on the whole basic etiquette is really losing ground.

            Like

          5. If a guy is smart, the basic stuff is a no-brainer… until you run into that one gal who gets miffed because you open doors for her and all that other stuff I know got drilled into my head growing up. Dating, again, is the all-time leader when it comes to cluster fucks…

            Liked by 1 person

          6. Agreed.

            I myself prefer not to have my door opened but I’ve never been rude about it. I just don’t have the patience for it most times. Although sometimes I do like it. Like when I’m dressed to the 9’s in ultra high heels. I’m walking slow anyway so why not?

            Like

          1. Oddly, the best way to “win” the game is to not play it; you really want to make it “easier” for someone to date you but most people just don’t do that. It’s best to have zero expectations and get rid of any preconceived notions; observe and communicate as openly and truthfully as you dare to – most people are loathe to do that, too. Women just expect to have to deal with the game… and usually don’t know how to act or respond when they never see it in any form. I know women who play the game by not playing it… and it tends to freak men out and makes them suspicious and even paranoid.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. How so? Makes men paranoid? What game? I’m so confused. We are still talking about dating right? How do women not play and freak men out? I’m seriously asking.

            Like

          3. That is me. I am direct and honest and willing to compromise somewhat knowing we all have our things. I mean I was actually willing to put up with this new guy with ED until he pulled that crap and showed his true colors. Explains why he doesn’t have a night stand on the other side of the bed. It isn’t in his wheelhouse to care for women’s needs. Guess it’s good I didn’t get invested.

            And I’ve never scared a man off like that. Well. Maybe before the date. But never on it.

            Like

          4. Sorry. A bit rage filled tonight and PMS’ing. I’m so frustrated.

            You’re married and can screw around. You’ve got it good. Stability and love and all the fun you can handle.

            Kudos. Seriously

            Like

          5. True. That’s not an option at all with my libido. I almost wish it were so I could save myself the hassle but I know it isn’t. I can’t go for more than a few months without tactile affection and sexual release with a partner.

            Sooooo….time is a ticking. Lol

            Like

  3. Very interesting. Good luck with some realistic goals and maybe even the far fetched miracle needing goals. Women generally speaking are only bitter when they go unsatisfied in life whether its love, food or sex. Those that are bitter are searching and not finding happiness. I am pretty sure You understand that happiness comes from within. its having positive feelings about life and oneself in general. You will find that perfect match.
    Peace N Love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. Happiness comes form within but one also needs life to reinforce that sometimes by having good things happen to one. That’s why I’m always on the look out. That why I try to find things to be grateful for. It proves to me life is good.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s