So here’s the download. In all its actual factualness, from my perspective at least.
I get there late. I had forwarned him.
We head straight to his bedroom the moment I arrive. I change into a silky short pink chemise. We talk, listen to music on my Bluetooth speakers, I give him a massage and we make out on and off for a few hours. He goes down on me and I’m so worked up I want him in me in a bad way. But when I pull him up to me he is soft.
I stroke him for a while: still soft. We do some THC and keep talking and making out. I keep stroking him until I finally just ask him point blank “are we going to talk about this?”. Because I honestly have no idea what’s going on. Is it too soon? Is he not aroused? Is he nervous? What is it?
He then reminds me he has type 1 diabetes and that he has suffered ED (erectile dysfunction) since he first got diagnosed decades ago.
I am, at this point, a bit shocked.
Because……who answers a post where a woman very clearly talks about wanting sex, not once, but twice.
So then I’m still horny and we are having a pleasant time. So I ask him to assist me to orgasm, since I had gone and bought a small travel bullet for the occasion.
And assist he did.
I orgasmed quite nicely and it was even more enhanced with the THC. Brad didn’t like me taking it so I never got to really enjoy sex on it ever. And it was really great with my senses more sensitive.
Afterwards, I wanted to see how aroused he would get and if he could cum at all with me. So I proceed to suck him off. Which is something I greatly enjoy anyway. I get him all the way to the edge and abruptly stop. He wasn’t really completely hard.
So then I pretended I was done. And he was a really good sport about it. I told him I just didn’t feel I had to reciprocate. To which he insisted he was fine.
I laughed so hard about it and of course actually did get him to cum very quickly once I resumed. So that’s a good thing. Still good at blowjob’s. Check ✔️
He then fell asleep. Did I mention he snores like a freight train?
Do all men my age have sleep apnea?
I heard him stop breathing 4 times and jerk himself awake snoring and gasping for air.
Then he rolled into a position he was fine in: no snoring, no apnea and I fell asleep spooning him.
It surprised me how much we talked about femdom all night. He seemed very intrigued by it, although stating clearly he didn’t think it was for him.
He also says he can get hard. He just can’t maintain it for very long. But that he did have sex with all his past girlfriend’s.
I’m just a bit confused.
Why would he answer my post? I mean I get why on his side and I suppose he didn’t know how much I enjoy and want PIV (penis in vagina).
I explained that that’s the primary reason I don’t think I’ll ever switch sides and date women.
I love dick.
And even dicks with condoms while acceptable aren’t ideal. I can absolutely feel the difference.
And I hate foreign things in there. I will settle for fingers though, which he was decent at.
There is a lot more to sex than just PIV, but when I specify that I don’t want a relationship and just want fun and sex…….
I guess I’m a bit frustrated is all.
He’s also British. And I think emotionally there is a bit of a disconnect. He is a bit standoffish. But he is passionate in bed.
I guess it’s completely and totally up to me because I told him I suspected we were not going to see each other again and he was shocked by that.
He insisted I block off Sunday for him and he will make me shepherds pie, which we both love.
So I have a week to decide what to do.
See him again and decide then maybe?
He isn’t huge, which is fine with me, but I just got done with Brad not being able to get erect for months and I really wanted hard dick.
Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know if he’s willing to take viagra. Guess we need to clarify that because that could be a possible solution. He never mentioned it though.
I don’t mind asking questions, but me having to clarify all these things he should have been upfront about is irksome, to say the least.
And all this talk of submissives and femdom really makes me crave it.
Do I go back on FetLife and try to find a submissive that can fuck me all night long?
Ay yay yay.
Why can’t my life ever just be easy?
I don’t know.
He also wanted me to leave before he left this morning for an appointment. I had already planned on leaving early so I didn’t appreciate the heave-ho. I expected to be allowed to sleep in a little and not woken so abruptly. I expected a breakfast beverage or an offer of something.
All in all I guess, even though I had fun and he’s a nice enough guy, I’m not seeing the enthusiasm I want to see. But this isn’t a relationship. So how much is too much to expect?
I guess my expectations aren’t matching my reality and I’m very disappointed. But it is my first attempt at finding a lover.
I’m actually quite proud of myself for putting myself out there and trying.
Especially with me not feeling at my best with my self esteem right now.
So, is this thing we have going on beneficial and something I’m enjoying and want to keep up?
Or is it not what I want and should just end it before either of us gets attached?
Answers I don’t have yet. Need time to think this all through.
Decisions, decisions. 🤔🤔🤔
Like I don’t have enough on my plate?
I just wanted easy, fun, sex with someone who’s company I enjoy.
I’m starting to wonder if that even exists? 😐😐😐