I actually downloaded a dating app and threw myself out there into the depressing void that is dating.
We shall see. Of course I put the truth. I’m just looking for friendship with benefits from ONE person.
I also put that I am not into watching sports, fishing or gaming. So I probably just ruled out almost every man alive.
But who knows?
And anyway, I could be moving during the summer. I don’t need any pressure of unrealistic expectations or lies. Which is why I always swipe left on anyone wanting kids.
Like how are 59 year old men still wanting to be a father? Dude! Come on. Maybe they’re saying what they think they need to say.
One profile said that he didn’t get a single match on the app and he was going to kill himself. Which was stark. And he was actually cute. Go figure. Hopefully he was just being dramatic.
So I spent a good hour swiping my fingers away. Let’s see what this produces, if anything. I lied about my age, by about 5 years. But my gray hair probably made that obvious. Lol
Where I to be looking for a relationship I would not have lied. But it’s sex, fun and intimacy, not a life long bond. Small white lie to get into someone’s criteria isn’t really going to hurt anyone.
Ay yay yay. I guess I’ll know tomorrow what I’m getting myself into and if I really am ready to date.
Smiles everyone. Smiles!
On the plus side I ended up texting Brad last night and I got a bit of closure. He apologized for wasting the last two years of my life, without being promoted to. Which is actually what I am the most mad at him for.
When I met him I was in a good place, I thought. I didn’t know something vital I needed to know about myself and yes I’m glad I learned it. But all the same, 2 years is a long time to string someone along pretending you’re going to marry them. Isn’t it?
He didn’t have to promise me anything. I wasn’t asking for it. But he did. And his actions never matched his words. And it is still frustrating me; all that time, energy and emotion wasted. When it didn’t have to be that way.
And just because I’m “too good at goodbyes” doesn’t mean I enjoy them.
But whatever, fine. Life goes on. I’ll learn to forgive him eventually and it was really nice that he apologized. I didn’t know how much I needed that until he said it.
I’m just bored and lonely and needing tactile affection and intimacy.
All that will be cured once I’m under or on top of another man. Right? 😂😉💋