Ok. Nope. I’m not gonna make it.
I know myself pretty well. Does that mean I can control myself? Yea, I guess mostly.
But I also know when I’m getting too close to breaking.
And I need to head this off. I NEED tactile affection. I NEED sex.
But I’m not a man.
I don’t need wham-bam, anyone sex. I want a connection of some sort.
Being a sapiosexual I’m highly attracted to intelligence. I’m also as visual as any other woman I guess.
I’m going to have to do something…… something…….
I’ve got to think what though.
I can’t go back to Brad. Even if I wanted to. He literally threw me out of his house last time I was there. And I’m not having that. Fuck no! I am really not that hard to get along with. That was way more drama than I need in my life.
I think it has got to be a dating app. I don’t have anyone but myself to worry about getting the pandemic and knowing A) I’ve had it and B) I still work and run errands and do all sorts of other things in the public.
This is quality of life issue. I’m not advocating for anyone to do as I do, but I know what my needs are and where I have to follow my own path in life sometimes.
Unfortunately going against societal norms is going to add stress and anxiety to my life. Because as much as is logical and possible, legally and morally, I try to do what is expected of me.
Then online dating is going to add even more. It’s like a part time job you’re not getting paid for that isn’t as fun as you thought it would be. But I have almost no other choice really.
I will take a few days to think about it. Then I’ll try to see if I can get any decent pictures of myself without giving off a whole glam studio vibe.
Ay yay yay….
Am I really doing this?
You know….even if I put my pictures up or do a speed dating event online, until we meet IRL I’m still within the confines of the stay at home orders. Right?
I am almost tempted to call my handyman, but he’s such a good guy. I really don’t want that to go sour in any way. I mean, sex I can probably get, but a really nice and really good handyman that charges me a very decent hourly price seems to good to mess with. No? 🤣🤣🤣