I’m on 16 drops of H2O2 now. Which may not seem like a lot. After all I started with 3 drops. So it’s been 14 days of this. You’d think I would have built up a tolerance to it. It’s not like it has a very distinct taste. But about the day of drop 12 I started to feel nauseous after drinking the distilled water filled with my allotted drops.
My mouth keeps watering preemptively as if I’m about to throw up. I feel woozy. It only lasts about an hour. But multiple times a day of this is not fun.
This is the first time I’ve made it this far in this cleanse. I don’t know if I can keep on. Maybe I should change the liquid to something more palatable. I’ll have to look at the directions again. Would juice work? I think it would help if so.
I woke up this morning with a frontal lobe headache, which I’ve gotten a lot since the pandemic. And I know adding oxygen to my system helps with that tremendously: whether it’s orally, through my lungs, or even rectally.
Oh good. The nausea is finally settling some.
I got an email today from the Freedom Rising women.
This is exactly what I needed to hear.
I’ve been having an inner battle with myself. Missing Brad but knowing that I deserve more. Wanting the comfort of the familiar, especially because he was my friend. Yet sanding firm in my decision, even though it pains me at times.
I went to see a new client yesterday and I was literally 2 miles from his house. It was my ego and pride that kept me from thinking about stopping by. I am worth more to myself. My own sense of self worth trumped my missing him.
I go back to my original thought of just needing one person in this big giant world to love me: honestly, tenderly, generously, devoted. A person of integrity and high ideals; with love for this world and all our fellow beings on it. Someone who will be a true partner and a genuine friend. Who may not always agree with me but will love me fiercely all the same. Someone who I can give myself to entirely and love madly.
One person. That’s it. I harbor the hope that this will come true for me. But regardless I have to empower myself to be the best and happiest me possible and use my finite time, energy and heart wisely on whatever laps I have left of this kooky adventure. Right? 😉
God bless us all❣️