I blame my parents

They were brutally honest people who rarely lied to me. It wasn’t out of respect though. It was because they never felt they had to justify themselves and whatever they felt, did, or said as a parent was more than adequate.

It was also a different generation and being both from latin countries where parenting simply isn’t questioned and children are more of an annoyance than a privilege, that was how it was; or maybe that’s just them.

Lying was also something that was reinforced to me at a very young age as completely unacceptable: both by violent consequences and from achieving no ultimate gains from it.

And I thought I’d be able to teach my children this very important lesson in life. But I think there are far too many gains in life to lying with far too few consequences now. I’m not going to beat them, and by this age I think they understand the laws of karma to some degree. And the threat of hell, which I know is real, is never going to be enough of a deterrent for anyone’s behavior to be modified.

It’s something people can’t grasp, have a hard time believing, have never seen, and have no proof of. So it is just a boogey-man in the dark; that as far as most people are concerned is not concrete enough or soon enough to matter at all.

I can’t keep telling them there are consequences to lying and not procure a punishment. It’s the wrong kind of reinforcement.

Ugghhhh

I hate being a parent sometimes.

My mother is also mad at my parenting. She asked me who the mother was in our household yesterday. To which I asked her if she herself knew because I could use a break from whosever kids these were.

This time she’s mad because the teen started working and I’m only making her pay her car insurance. I’m not forcing her to contribute to the household. Now in my defense I did talk to her about it and asked her to allot 25-33% of her paycheck to me. She politely declined and could not be persuaded.

I didn’t want to tell her I was actually just going to save the money for her for an emergency fund. That would defeat the purpose; leave her with a notion that she has cash available for whatever she deems an emergency and leaves me in a bind if I have to use it for some reason.

I was irritated by it but I really didn’t want to argue about it either, maybe because I remember being her age.

Except last night she lied to me again about who and where she was. And lying sends me into a frenzy, which she knows all too well. It’s a technicality she’ll say; more of a very small ommission than a lie. Which I still find irritating.

Lying to me is a black and white issue that unless one needs to use it to save a life/lives, is always completely unacceptable.

I have a headache already and she isn’t even here to discuss this yet.

Joy, joy. 🙄😔😐

—–

I wrote this this morning and wasn’t in the mood to post it.

We have since talked. I have no idea if she understands my point. She made a forced apology and went about her life. Hmmppphhhhhh

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

9 thoughts on “I blame my parents”

  1. Thank you for the post, PG. Many suburban middle class (is there a middle class anymore? or just super-wealthy and below poverty?) families let their teenagers have their own money if they earn it. It’s traditional in California, as far as I can tell, to let your teens live with you until they move out free of charge. It’s just family.

    Now having said that, if you are the type to struggle to pay the bills, I can understand why you would expect her to help. And I’m a little miffed she doesn’t want to. Is the situation grave enough? Does she not understand it? Anyway, if all is running smoothly I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

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  2. Parents and parenting… I don’t blame my parents for much of anything as I understand that they did the best they could and they’re only human. If I learned something from them, it wasn’t how to do stuff – it was how not to do it or, as my father told me, “Don’t make the same mistakes we made but know that you’re going to make your own mistakes…”

    My mom didn’t “scold” me about how I raised my children but she’d point out things at times – and most of the time I knew what she was talking about already so it was all good… but what would get my goat was all those times when being a father was getting under my skin… and she’d laugh. A lot. She rarely said, “I told you so!” – well, not directly; she’d ask me if I remembered this event or that event when me and my siblings were my children’s age and, okay, mom – I get it.

    Teenagers. Wretched people. One of the things I learned about dealing with mine as teens was not to argue with them… but I’d tell them that, for one, everything has consequences and you don’t have to believe me… because I know you’re going to find out. You think you’re right and most of the time, you really have no idea and I know you think me and your mom are crazy or stupid – and we aren’t – but you overlook something important: We used to be your age so we know some stuff but that’s okay – you’ll find out and while I’d rather you find out the easy way, gimme a call when you find out the hard way that we were right all along.

    Have fun with that. My youngest, once he had kids who acted just like him, called me and said, “I hate it when you’re right…” – warmed my heart to hear him and his siblings say things that told me that if they didn’t understand then, they do now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yea. I got a long way to go for that redemption. Lol

      Which is fine. I get it. I really do remember knowing it all and thinking my parents were morons. And I can only be me as a parent, not my parents. Much to the chagrin of my own parents.

      My kids are all in all.great kids. Difficult sometimes and each with their own idiosyncrasies, which is to be expected.

      I still adore them infinitely though. I just never, ever expected.parenting to be so very hard. Not as exhausting as when they were itty bitty’s but still hard in other ways.

      I’m afraid I’m going to be exactly like your mom as a grandma and laugh my head off at them, when they see how it really is on this side of the equation. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s the one major advantage we have over our children: We know stuff that they don’t… yet. We know how they’re going to fail and why since we really do pay attention to them. The “bad” part is sometimes we have to let them fail so they can learn how to deal with the things life is going to throw at them.

        And, yeah, when I started working, I had to “pay rent,” a damned important skill and responsibility that I had better not shirk or act like it wasn’t important – my mom was a good, tough, but fair teacher.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. She sounds like it. She sounds like an admirable woman.

          I have very little time left with this one. She’s planning on leaving to college next year. If she comes back afterwards it will be different. I just don’t have it in my heart to take her money. Plus, technically she gives me her paychecks to deposit. Her bank account is linked to mine so I can monitor her account. She is saving the vast majority of it. She’s actually very good with money. Always has been. So it’s fine. For now.

          Liked by 1 person

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