I decided

I’m not in control of a lot of things in life, but I learned about 20 years ago that I’m in charge of my own inner life and the goals I pursue. And that knowledge has kept me happy, grounded, and feeling like I’m truly living my life and it isn’t just dragging me around like a mop.

This pandemic has added its many difficulties, but what it has given me is time. And I’ve been trying to ride it out instead of just acclimate to it. And riding it out, not all that well I may add.

I’ve been taking care of myself on an as needed basis instead of a concerted effort. But I realized this weekend I need to change my mental image of this. I need to adapt to present circumstances. And the way I do that is by taking control of what I can.

So I set up daily goals for myself. These are all expectations but if I do half I will be happy with myself. Today is my first day. I have two appointments I have to keep but otherwise this week is cleared out, due to our stay at home orders. And next week is Thanksgiving so, the timing is great.

And I feel very fortunate to have this time, to get into my own groove and stop letting this pandemic take complete control.

Here is my daily goal list. As you can see nowhere is work figured into this time. Because that’s just a given. I will get work done. Exactly as I do it now, around homeschooling, and the kids and meals and chores and errands and all the other stuff.

I’m fortunate to have this business to fall back on and all the other measures I took to secure ourselves during this difficult time; at least for the time being. So much of this is completely out of my control that it will feel really good to take some of it back. So here goes.

Daily Goals

20 minutes of exercise
20 minutes meditation
20 minutes of prayer
20 minutes deep breathing
20 minutes of reading
20 minutes one on one with a child

It seems doable, but I’m not going to add stress and pressure to myself. I’m doing these things that I know will be of great benefit. I should probably add reaching out to a family member each day, and maybe I will, but my motivation is quite low and this is a doable start for me.

We all must accept where we are in order to make the best of it. If there was another way I thought would be easier I would employ it. But most of the things worth having in life either come with effort or patience, and sometimes fortunately through sheer luck.

I’m hoping for all three, but I’ll start with my own efforts and my own patience with myself as I work towards making this time a time of thriving. Striving for the things that truly matter in life: peace of mind/serenity, happiness, connection and spiritual growth.

Those are the things that matter to me and it’s time to live like I mean it when I say these things.

And while I may not have a lot of luxuries or opportunities right now, I have the choice to make the best of this life or flounder and flail about letting fate have its way with me.

It will anyway, but where I have a choice I will take it, gratefully.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking the bull by the horns. This is that time for me. Better late than never. πŸ˜‰


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “I decided”

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