I’ll look back and wonder how I let myself get to where I was/am.
A lot of different people and circumstances contributed. I can’t take the full blame. I’ve been preyed on a lot in this life. And maybe had I recognized what was happening sooner I could and should have pushed these people out.
I can see where I have been naive and blind to what was happening. I still don’t have full understanding of some of my own issues that contribute to this all. I know that the trauma from my own childhood let me be taken advantage of a lot and led me astray from my own sense of self.
But I’m starting to feel my strength come back and a redirection. I need to take the time to rebuild myself and focus on who I want to be. I’ve seen aspects of myself that need a lot of healing and growth.
And maybe right now I don’t have outward stability. But I can’t let that deter me from finding inner peace and freedom. I need to find the space to forgive myself and all those that have had their part in this. Be grateful for those that have tried to help and shine a light for me when I need/ed it.
I ask for forgiveness
I love you
I forgive you
I love myself
And ask you to show me love and forgiveness
And I’ll proceed on this journey
Each day lived anew
Each day full of wounderous possibilities
I am far from perfect
And I’ve not lived the life people have wanted or expected of me
But I’ve tried to be honest with who I am, where I am
And while that has had its many setbacks, there is nothing to be done but go forward.
Unencumbered by the judgement and expectations of others.
Finding my true purpose and happiness in this crazy ass world.