Trying so hard

to stay positive.

But things just keep snowballing on me this week. I guess maybe it’s better to have lots of things falter all at once to then hopefully have a period of smooth sailing. And I want to be optimistic that this trend will end and ease is just around the corner. It has to be… right? Ebb and flow. Yin and yang.

I’m just a little distraught. Still manageably so. But it’s wearing on me a tinge.

This is all part of my human experience. It’s fine. I’m allowed to have feelings about it. I’m just not allowed to wallow, let it fester or embitter me. These are my own rules I’ve set for myself.

But I could use a break. A break from all aspects of my life. That’s what Brad used to give me, when things were going well. A place to get away. But when that stopped feeling (emotionally) safe, then what good was it?

I have 3 really busy days ahead of me. Meeting with two new eBay clients. Helping a neighbor/client hold a yard sale. Picking up a new(er) fridge. Taking the littles to a Halloween party and the teenager to and from work. Once this is all done Sunday night I can revisit the turmoil that my life seems to be going through and have myself a good cry fest.

Ugghhh. I really wish I had some good sex to look forward to. Good sex has a way of righting many wrongs plus it just feels so good and makes me feel so yummy inside. But no such luck.

Oh well. Gotta keep on keeping on. What else is there?

I’ve lost a lot of readers lately. Which is fine. I’m hoping it’s personal. As in people just don’t like my writing or my posts, my style or views because I’d rather it be that than the weight of the world crashing down on everyone.

Maybe my posts aren’t uplifting. Maybe I say the same thing over and over. I’ve probably gotten boring. Lol. I honestly don’t know. I don’t have the right vantage to view my life objectively right now and access this.

Whatever it is, I hope everyone finds some peace in their life and if you can’t that you can recognize that this too shall pass. It really will. πŸ™πŸ½



Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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