Last night I asked Jan for an emergency session. It was great. At one point she put her hands on my ankles and it felt extraordinarily grounding.
I realized instantly that all that has happened to me this week has been grounding me in the reality of living this human life. Because left to my own devices I would probably do nothing but live in my own brain.
I really do love living in there. I like daydreaming. I enjoy trying to figure things out. I love contemplating the why’s that capture my attention. I am very happy being left to myself to ruminate and ponder. Or to just look at life and see what I can see while not necessarily actively participating.
But the reality of this existence is material and of interactions outside oneself. Now why this week has been so formidable is beyond me? Teaching me humility maybe. Teaching me something I haven’t quite grasped yet, but I do think it is bringing me (forcibly) out of myself and into life’s earthly realm; like it or not.
Buddha said “life is suffering”.
And this week I’ve felt so many of those “sufferable” human emotions. And while most everything that has occurred I have had zero control over I do have control over my nerves. I have control over my actions and responses (especially if I allow myself the grace to sit with them for a bit and not just react or overreact).
I can’t escape living while alive. And just as I must learn to embrace the good I can also learn to accept the bad. But the key is to participate.
That’s what this life is about. It’s the push and pull. It’s the “sacred geometry of chance” which we are all an active part of. The dance of life.
And whether that dance comes with laughter and joy or tears and pain is unimportant, the point is that it is mine to live. Mine. And I’ve got to get in the game.
No one can avoid the inconveniences, hurdles and hardships in life. And while a lot of suffering is avoidable, no one comes out unscathed; if not by ones own suffering, then by the suffering of others. Such is life.
But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I’ve always found suffering, true suffering to be a hauntingly beautiful emotion. Because it shows the depth and power of our feelings and experiences. And that’s something very human and grounding.
But it does make me laugh that here I am thinking myself capable of lifting up humanity when I can’t even get my own life in order and the chaos that sometimes surrounds me. It seems laughable really. But it’s good to have aspirations and it’s good to be humbled by life’s bitch slaps now and again.
Today is a new day. Let’s begin again.😉