My life feels like it’s been in limbo for so very long. All the plans I have tried to have; all the aspirations, dreams, hard work, planning, have almost all crashed and burned. Or not? Maybe just on stand-still? Maybe detoured? I don’t know is the thing. Everything is so very uncertain.
And if I don’t learn to embrace the uncertainty and complete lack of direction and foresight I will drive myself crazy.
This reminds me of the vision I had where I was standing on the outer waves of a vortex. It was all very chaotic but I myself was completely still and calm. That’s what I must achieve. I must achieve peace of mind by completely let go of any expectations.
Like taking a road trip. Where the only certainty is me and, then at most, what I’m bringing along. All else is subject to change based on factors I can’t see or control. And the sooner I can accept that the joy is in the moment alone and allow myself to let go of trying to find a map and figure out the direction, the end point or any part in between the better off I will be.
This is difficult. We are not programmed that way. Most of us like the comfort of consistency and we love to fool ourselves into thinking that we can predict the future based on the current algorithm. We try to then make the necessary steps to ensure our future looks like what we have in our minds. And we lull ourselves into believing we are safe and our future is safe.
Because we don’t want to face the fact that this life is full of unavoidable peril, that comes with no notice and can completely disrupt our entire existence. That the truth of living is much more about the unknown than the known. What we grasp and want to believe is only the tiniest sliver of what can be grasped and known.
And honestly, most of the time even that is wrong, or skewed, biased by our own prejudice and limited experience and understanding.
So to have expectations of constancy is, in and of itself, rather idiotic. But without that illusion most people would suffer extreme distress.
So I want to embrace the moment and the moment alone. With absolutely no expectations or forecasting of the future. I want to truly let all else go and by doing so let myself be fully present, have peace of mind and be genuinely happy. Living in acceptance, gratitude and in accordance with my heart and souls moment to moment calling.
That sounds like a great goal to me. Now this is much easier said than done of course, but I accept this challenge wholeheartedly. Honestly, what choice do I have? And truthfully, I’m genuinely happy to be at this crossroad….. difficult as it may be. Because it’s been a lot of talk and now is the time to truly walk.
But I am up for it. Let’s do this❣️