Maybe just maybe

Yesterday I defrosted the freezer. It wasn’t even that full or that frosted but it was still a huge chore. After I restarted it, it kept leaking water into the fridge. But that seems to have resolved the issue and it seems to be working now. I’ll need to buy a fridge thermometer to make sure though.

So then I also ended up going to the singles event I spoke of earlier. It was about what I expected. Not a lot of people and most everyone in their 20’s and 30’s. I left rather quickly. And consoled myself at the bar, where I had 2 large ciders. I thought all was well until I woke up at 3am with the absolute worst headache and struggling to breath. My sleep apnea was acting up fiercely.

Let me sidetrack here for a minute.

I’ve had a few people steal from me. Nothing drastic. Recently had to cancel a bank card and a credit card because of fraudulent charges. And I’ve had quite a few people steal from me in person: a couple bartenders, a few gas station attendants, a few cashiers. Nothing over $20 that I’m aware of, but still irritating. I never say anything, usually because I don’t notice until after the fact but also because I just don’t see the point. It’s on their conscience not mine and it never seemed worth the trouble.

But by stealing they put themselves in karmic debt to me. So I decided last night, while I was struggling in bed, to call on that debt. I called out to all the souls that have stolen from me and asked for the debt to be repaid in life-energy. I already knew that to communicate with another soul one doesn’t need their permission or even awareness. Most people don’t operate on a level to be aware of small fluctuations in their energy fields.

I have never done this before so I wasn’t sure it would even work or what the response would be. But sure enough I started to feel better and much more energized and I was able to fall asleep comfortably. I woke up with a little, tiny hungover, but nothing compared to that 3am wakeup call.

I know I need to stop drinking. Why I’m an idiot and let myself continue especially when my liver has been hurting recently seems like a death wish on my part. I wish I had a simple answer. I wish I had some justifiable excuse. I don’t. I’m just a moron.

But I learned something new. It seems I learn a lot of my lessons in life from doing things I should not necessarily be doing. It doesn’t justify it but at the same time I’m happy to have gained knowledge.

Maybe just maybe I can start learning things the easy way. But I just don’t know that I see that happening yet. Here’s to keeping up hope.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “Maybe just maybe”

  1. You absolutely are not a moron! It is tough to quit. Easy to find pitfalls. I know. You did awesome though. You only had two ciders. Two that is a huge step love. You will get this. You know you will. In your own time. Love you. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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