Peace within me / staying put feels ok now

I woke up this morning thinking what’s the one thing I really need; not just to make my own life better but to help the entire world. And the answer came pretty easily: peace within me.

I can talk about wanting peace in the world. I can talk about trying to make my life less stressful. But that’s all rhetoric unless I can find that peace within myself first.

And we all know rhetoric doesn’t work in anything more than a short term and mostly superficial way. In order for real change, within myself and the world, a true shift must occur. The understanding of this isn’t the hard part though, the doing is.

We all understand that how we respond to anything and everything has more to do with who we are and what is happening within ourselves than whatever outside stimuli is provoking from us. So it’s a matter of building a well of deep inner peace within.

Trying to control or stifle ourselves, our anger, fear, disappointment, sadness, anxiety, dread, or what have you doesn’t work either. If anything it makes us more prone to snap.

So how does one create a landscape of peace within oneself? There are tools of course: meditation/prayer, exercise, confession/mental health assistance, communing with nature, sex, eating healthy, finding things that help us release stress, community, hobbies, on and on and on.

But what I’ve found it really boils down to is 3 things: deep and unconditional acceptance of what is, being active/proactive in staying balanced without letting it add more stress to life and finding true happiness within before seeking it from anything or anyone else.

Not always necessarily easy, but worth all the effort and then some when I do achieve it: even fleetingly.

And that’s my goal. That’s my aim. To have that peace within me always, at all times, regardless of what is transpiring in the world outside of me. That is my day to day quest.


Well. I’ve decided not to go to Ohio right now and have no foreseeable idea when I will go. Although I’ve gotten more clarity about why I need to go and what I will find I don’t think it’s a good time to be going.

We are getting into the holidays, colder weather and the pandemic is spiking. Thankfully not here, but it is in Ohio and having no direct flights makes the trip even more perilous. I know I have had this virus already, but I also know my liver isn’t at its best and there is a slight chance of getting it again, or worse exposing others.

I am also not sure I really want to be working right now either or in close contact with people, especially not large amounts of people. When I have gone to the casino, which I don’t plan on doing any time soon, I park myself in one spot and try not to mingle, talk or interact with people. Which as an introvert and people watcher is easy for me and enjoyable. But that’s a hobby that isn’t meant to be profitable and even with the jackpot I recently won I’m a bit down overall.

I really can’t wait for this pandemic to be over. I was talking to my mom and she was asking what was closed here: schools, a lot of restaurants only offer to go, all the sex clubs, movie theaters, a lot of city/state offices and services are closed, most all meet-ups, groups and associations are doing virtual meetings only, and a lot of doctors are doing mostly virtual appointments.

People in Oregon are for the most part pretty conscientious and nice; irregardless of politics I’ve found, not all, never all, but most. And I appreciate that. It’s probably why our numbers are stable. I’m guessing. Will we have a resurgence, I don’t know. I’ve noticed that even in states with a resurgence and hospitalizations, the mortality numbers don’t seem to be spiking drastically. So that’s a great thing.

Meanwhile I think I’m finally starting to get used to this hunkering down thing. Although I do plan on getting a gym routine started up. That’s my own thing. I really need comradery to find the motivation to exercise, even if it’s just the company of strangers all doing our own thing. You know? And I really need to exercise right now for my mental health and overall well-being.

To thine own self be true.πŸ˜‰


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

8 thoughts on “Peace within me / staying put feels ok now”

  1. Peace within oe self not always easy to find and maintain, My stress relievers are servicing others (making someone elsehappy) eating , exersing and lastly sex.
    I hope you find your peace and that stays with you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Servicing others provides you inner peace? Well. You have a true heart. That’s very noble. I do enjoy cooking for my family and nurturing them but I can’t say it’s a stress reliever. The last three for sure I agree with though.

      Honestly, being dominant and having a play session in that role is very stress relieving for me and potent. It makes me feel euphoric. But I haven’t had a chance to do that in quite a while.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I like subspace. It takes me out of my head and when I need to cry it’s a good release. But the euphoria I get from dominance is unrivaled, unless we want to compare it to ecstasy or some other illicit drug. Lol

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Oregon, as long as you are outside of certain cities.

    As per casinos; In Vegas, an ungoldy amount of racket. Yes, short of a panic attack.
    Sex clubs? Almost slipped one past the goalie. (Im worried about another hurricane, ran out of names up to “D”s now).

    Liked by 2 people

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