My laundry is piling up again. Yet we stand at another stalemate. Brad doesn’t want to pick me up and I don’t feel like driving to Salem. I suppose if I wash a few things by hand I can make it another week. I definitely don’t feel like doing the laundromat thing again.
Last time I was there a homeless guy smoked incessantly right outside the door and (understandably) had to undress to wash his clothes. One minute he was in pants and the next in shorts. I was just thankful he was discreet about it. All the other patrons were hiding out in their car but he had no such shelter. I’m not knocking him. You gotta do what you gotta do.
It’s just very sad and it sends my germaphobia into a tailspin. I had to put twice the H202 I’d normally use, just to feel somewhat comfortable and with all the machines stinking like scented detergent and fabric softener my clothes were affected. So much so, my sheets gave me a small rash that week. I’m super sensitive and people don’t realize what an assault on my senses those strong scents have. I have to close my windows when the renters and neighbors do their laundry. It’s so stinky!
I was talking to a client. Somehow we got on the topic of us both being scent averse. She told me her friend was just diagnosed with lung cancer and the first thing she was asked is if she used heavily scented products: candles, fabric softeners, air fresheners. She was told to stop everything immediately. Which is an absolute no brainier to me but I get it.
We are so conditioned by consumerism and embarrassment over our natural, human stinks. I happen to love people’s natural scent. My daughter’s laugh at me because to this day I will hold them tight and just smell them. They don’t have that luscious baby smell anymore but their natural smell is so sweet to me.
I am doing my ritual for the dead this weekend. I’ll take a high dose of THC. I did buy a mild hallucinogen but I’m not sure I’m balsy enough to connect those dots yet. I bought it to connect better to Divinity but I’m not sure inviting other spirits in while doing so is in my comfort zone yet.
I was researching exorcisms. Specifically looking for people in Oregon that do them. I encountered two: a priest in Medford and a local Portland couple. The priest had been interviewed by the news and spoke about how the darkness was getting stronger, more prevalent. This was a few years ago. And considering where we are in the world right this moment I feel this doesn’t bode well.
The couple doesn’t do hands on training. They recommended some books and said they’d call me to discuss it further. But I haven’t heard from them yet. So it goes. I’ve been on this journey alone for so long now. While I’ve been privy to get glimpses of how others connect to spirit, heal, perform rituals, I haven’t found anything that resonates deeply within me yet.
So I guess I’ll continue on my singular path towards some destiny I can’t even begin to forsee yet.