Distressed

Probably rightfully so. Even though I am a loud proponent of staying positive through any ordeal, I recognize it isn’t always easy.

Yesterday my handyman came over. He is kind, knowledgeable and honest. Those are a hard combination to find in life. So I feel very fortunate to have connected.

But he didn’t have great news. He suspects that the roof tiles buckling in one specific area point to the wood underneath being rotted. He followed a small slumping in the roof from that spot to the very corner of the house where he found excessive moisture and possibly thinks the foundation may be compromised. Because that’s what I need in life right now. 🙄

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I’ve just about finished with Constantine. I enjoy the stories and characters, but the gore is disturbing.

Then I dreamt that we were back in the house. My youngest, who actually does have a genetic disorder that gave her hardened skin growths as a baby, was having severe abnormalities. She was growing huge abcesses and losing her fingers. She was actually very calm about the whole thing but I was freaking out and the doctors couldn’t explain it, let alone help her. One doc wrote a couple of remedies for her but I lost the information in my panic.

Then I walk in her room and black sticky tar was oozing from the ceiling. I handled it by sealing off the room; because that’s totally logical. 🙄 Dreams!

I was happy to wake up from that one. It was very stressful. But dreams do have a lot to tell you about your state of mind and things one isn’t aware of consciously.

Yesterday was also my middle’s birthday and I didn’t do anything to try to make it special. She had school and her father took them to dinner. Originally I had wanted to take her zip lining, but it didn’t pan out. I should have stuck to my guns and taken her. Now she just has more fuel for the “I’m the middle child, no one cares about me” fire she has burning bright.

My youngest went to sleep crying last night. Her older sisters stayed up late chatting and she felt excluded. I layed down with her and said “being the youngest munch is hard sometimes, isn’t it?”. Which just made her cry harder.

Once she calmed down I said “I know this isn’t going to make you feel better, but you know what…. sometimes being a mom is hard too. So I get it.” And she laughed. I guess it did make her feel a little better.

Today I get my labs drawn. And I have to buy a heater. It’s starting to get cold and there is only one heater for the entire house and only one outlet in the basement. With the renters having control of the thermostat.

I’m really, really hating not having a washer and dryer. Truthfully I’m feeling a bit lost again right now; unsure, drifting. But I have things to do to keep me occupied. Now if only I actually wanted to do them. Lol

🌈🙏🏽🌏💋

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol View all posts by porngirl3