why things happen the way they do. I barely know the reasons why I myself behave the way I do. It’s taken years of introspection to understand some of my own nuances; let alone the complexity of humanity and existence itself. I know what I believe though and I am satisfied with that.
I was thinking last night how thankful I am to have my smelly little fortress. Mostly underground and encased in cement I feel very safe and almost apart from the world. Which makes me less apt to pick up the emotions of everyone and everything around me. Which, at this moment of chaos and transitions, is a good thing.
I saw a man driving down the road this morning flipping the bird to everyone. We crossed paths twice, which is odd in and off itself since I rarely leave the house or drive around much these days.
Big white boy just hanging his arm out his brown sedan in an unfriendly salute. The mother in me was at least happy he was wearing a mask. It’s still very smokey out.
I don’t take things like that personally. Whatever is going on in his brain and life has everything to do with him and almost zero to do with me. I just happen to be there.
I woke up feeling well and rested even. I have a few projects I need to work on. I have a couple eBay sales to get boxed and shipped. And I have to find the 2 laptops the school district lent us last year. I know where I put them when we moved to the basement but they have gone missing and I really don’t want to have to pay out of pocket to replace them. But if I can’t find them today I’ll have to call it.
It’s supposed to rain tonight. Part of me is thrilled. We really need it, but I also have boxes and bags to go to goodwill in the yard and I really don’t want to deal with that today.
My liver has been pumping the breaks on me this last week. And manual labor in this air quality is the last thing I need. I feel so bad for the people having no choice in the matter.
I’ll just do what I can.
I have arranged for the disgruntled cat to go to the ex’s for a bit. See if she is happier there.
I see the world and it saddens me immensely that it functions the way it does. I firmly believe that we all have a purpose and that we could all find satisfaction and fulfilment in life if we were A) allowed to be who we truly are B) supported each other in our unique life journeys C) had compassion and consideration for everyone and nature.
I truly believe that for every job there is a willing worker. For every need there are resources and people that could help. For every deficit there are surpluses. If we worked and thought globally we could eradicate so many of our issues.
Not that we wouldn’t have other issues crop up. In life we don’t come out unscathed and unbothered. The climate/mother nature, non-terrestrial beings, asteroids, on and on. Who knows what comes next? The unknown is yet unknown.
I enjoy thinking of what a world that truly values its people and its habitat looks like. And even though we seem such a long way from there right now I hold hope and prayer for a better way for humanity.
God bless us all❣️