My mix and match life

I’ve lived a mostly low to lower-middle income life. My furniture has never all matched or been brand new, except for some Ikea pieces and mattresses. I rarely buy new clothes, opting for garage sale and thrift store finds. I do like real gold jewelry, but I haven’t bought myself a single piece since being divorced.

My expectations in life aren’t maids and Louis Vuitton. At this current rate, I am not sure I’ll be able to retire without help from my children and the government. But as is the custom in hispanic households, I hope to be able to live with one of them. Or even better be able to stay 4 months a year with each of them rotating based on their needs and my comfort.

But that’s a very long way off. To ensure I have a good retirement I better ensure they have a good future ahead of them. Of course this isn’t driven by selfish needs and desires. I really do want the best for them. Better than I’ve had. Which at this point I guess I have somewhat done.

Although their life does unfortunately mimic mine in great part.

I myself went to over 14 different schools in my 11+ years of K-12 schooling, as we moved around often. My mother worked a lot and there were somedays I never saw her at all. My father was mostly MIA. We had some extended family around but we weren’t very close. I was kicked out at 17.

In contrast: my children have also been moved around about every 2-3 years. Living in this house will rival the longest we have ever lived in one place. I have sacrificed so much to be able to work from home so I can be with them, nurture them, watch them grow, be a foundation for them and create a good, stable home. Their father, for better or worse, is very much in the picture. We have extended family here but we rarely see them. I can’t imagine ever kicking my kids out, no matter how much they get on my nerves sometimes.

I am trying to not repeat the past. I am trying so hard to create a good life for them. More than I myself had at least. I am trying my damndest. Am I missing the mark? Here and there, yes. But my intentions and my best efforts are there. And if we have to keep living a mix and match life that’s ok with me. As long as we keep living it together.

I was an only child. My childhood was horribly lonely. I remember crying myself to sleep so many days and nights. And while I can’t make it all easy or make their lives perfect and I see and sense their suffering sometimes; at least they know they have each other and me and I have them. And that’s good enough. That’s more than good enough for me.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “My mix and match life”

  1. i believe each generation should try and make the next one better. Also each generation should take care of each generation to the best of their ability. The Mexican community that i just came from very small town and community. . It was very nice seeing the younger gen care for their elders. i’m glad they consider me part of their families and that i am an elder. Things don’t have to match they just need to be useful. be safe and enjoy PEACE N LOVE

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s