I’m confusing myself

I am putting forth time and energy trying to study spirituality. But I feel like it’s both illuminating and confusing at the same time.

It’s like I am seeing the same thing that I already understand but from a different vantage point and they are both valid but it almost feels like it’s too much information, and some of it feels irrelevant.

The way I see it, I’m trying to transport my soul into a new frame of existence. I know it’s possible, I just am not sure exactly how. In theory I know how. I have fleetingly done it. But it’s hard to make it stick.

So, I’m studying all these spiritualists and they are confirming that indeed it’s possible but instead of just giving me a box and showing me where the post office is, they want me to forage the material and learn all about box making.

If all that somehow makes sense. Then also I really don’t want to hear any more conspiracy theories about the forces running the world, behind the scene.

I really think I’ve heard enough of them. It isn’t that I don’t care or believe them. It’s just that I don’t need more adversaries. I don’t need more anger or fear in my life. I don’t need to feel the forces of the universe against me. And I have zero plans of doing anything about any of them. So don’t bother telling me any more of them. Please!

If it is something tangible I could help with in my immediate reality then yes please; someone say something. But otherwise I’m going to let other people sort out their own existence and be in charge of their own soul’s journey.

I’m a bit busy over here.


I have a headache. My eyes are strained. It hurts to even stare at the phone and write this. I was doing ocular exercises yesterday and I completely over did it. Silly, but painful error in judgement. I need to go easy today. Rest my eyes as much as I can but I have two huge projects I have to do and a few I should do but will need to delay.

I hate letting people down. I try with all my might to be a person of my word. It really means a lot to me. But I cancelled one client today and need to delay another.

Well….just can’t dwell on it. Gotta keep doing my best and also take something for this pain. πŸ˜”


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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