I was sitting wondering what Jesus would say if he was brought back to earth today in human form. 2000+ years after he sacrificed himself in the name of human salvation.
I wonder if he was given the chance to go back to his time, he would choose differently. I venture to say he would when he could see how people use his name to propel hatred, fear, intolerance, violence and so much more against each other; to see the hypocrisy of people that claim to follow his words, his spirit, and the breath and essence of his teachings.
It is an affront of the most heart breaking nature and a complete mockery of the infinite love, compassion for all, and life of service and self-sacrifice that he encapsulated.
I don’t see any other way to see what Christian and Christ based religions have done with Jesus’ beautiful teachings and ultimate sacrifice. I can’t help but shake my head at all of it. We are not deserving. Not now, probably not then, and while I can’t speak to the future and want to have faith. Jeezus! How long does it fucking take?
I guess I’m just having a hard time believing in the goodness of humanity.
But then I go back to one of my original thoughts.
If there is always a balance of good and evil in this world than maybe we are exactly where we need to be and I need not concern myself with the soul of humanity and the future of the planet. I almost feel like there has to be some drama in life. All movies need some kind of villain or tension/distress in the story. Right?
Do we get a happy ending? Do we get any kind of utopia?
Is the search only found within?
I guess in my own mind the thing is that I hate the lies more than I hate the evil. Lies to me are worse than evil. Which sounds extreme maybe. But I prefer to be able to see the world exactly the way it is; to understand what is truly going on. I’d rather see the pussie, festering soul of humanity than the pretty facade. I’d rather feel the pain of it all than be lulled and seduced by beautiful illusions.
But that doesn’t seem to be most people. Most people seem to be perfectly fine living lies they tell themselves and/or the world. In fact most people seem to be trying very desperately to bury their head further into their own unhappy little rabbit holes.
I just need to move my focus inward. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand human nature and humanity. Which makes sense I guess. Hard enough understanding myself some days.