If that’s the worst of my problems….

I was telling Jay-lyn how I have to do my laundry at a laundromat now that Brad and I are done. I’m a bit of a germophobe so this is a struggle for me. Nothing bringing my own high powered disinfectant won’t solve I suppose.

I guess right now I’m just feeling a tiny bit defeated, lost and sorry for myself. I don’t know why exactly. I’ve got some wins under my belt. The loan modification meeting went really well and I’m feeling very confident about keeping my house. So as long as I have reliable renters upstairs all is good there.

My youngest is starting in a school pod, which we are both really excited about. I’m managing to keep all 3 of my kids intact. They go to sleep under a warm roof, not hungry and wake up rested. Parenting goals met!

We’re starting to eat less junk food and work on some projects. Jill gave me a lead for a naturopaths office that may want to have a colon hydrotherapist in house, mind you at potentially her own cost because they give her lots of clients. I can’t tell you how truly grateful I am to have such kind people in my life.

I went to sleep last night telling myself I am not going to question or second guess Divinity. I am just going to graciously accept its offerings of love in this world to me. I do not have to ask myself if I am worthy. I do not have to question kismets motives. I simply have to be grateful and pay it forward when I can.

I was also thinking of my future last night as I lay in bed and I was feeling like a kid that runs off a dock full speed into a murky river or lake. I feel like my life is suspended in that moment when you are under the water and you open your eyes and you have to orient yourself to where you are and where you want to be. Only I’m not quite sure about either of those two things right now.

I feel like my life is at that moment when my eyes are just barely starting to open and it’s all still very disorienting.

——-

So I didn’t get the 911 job. So my unemployment is being stopped and adjudicated. They are looking at if I even qualified for unemployment in the first place. Which I honestly don’t see how I could not, but then again I did just turn down a part-time temporary job. So πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ. As long as they don’t come after the money they already gave me fine.

So…….yea. Gonna just take it easy on myself here, get my bearings. Wait to figure out where I am and where I want to go. It may not be where I end up, but it’s good to have goals or some kind of road map. Isn’t it? Honestly I’m not even sure about that anymore. But let’s just say it is and go with that. πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€”

🌏🌈✌🏽πŸ₯°πŸ™πŸ½πŸ’‹πŸ˜‰πŸ’–

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

3 thoughts on “If that’s the worst of my problems….”

  1. I have no idea where I am going. I know that I want to teach Tember to be an empathetic caring young man who looks out for others. I want happiness that is not reliant on money or things. And I have managed to do that one in spades. I am enjoying life for what it is now rather then holding the reins so tightly that there is no room for moving or change. I say this over and over to everyone because it is one piece of advice that was given to me two years ago during the big Kaboom: If I could accept that there is not certainty…..that you have no control over what is coming or what is going to happen. All you can do is control yourself and your reaction to the situations. You cannot control nor be responsible for others. You do not know how they are going to react or what they are going to say. The old saying ‘go with the flow’ it is an adage that really has truth to it. Love you lots and you got all this. It seems like right now you are working so hard and you are to close to the whole thing right now to see the grander picture. You will be awesome and you know why? Because you are a kickass awesome woman and terrific friend. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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