Know exactly what you want or wait and see what presents itself?

This has always been an interesting juxtaposition to me.

Do you stand firm in what you want and pursue it fiercely?

Or do you go with the flow, see what presents and decide if that will do?

I lean towards the latter, but I think that lends me to be too accommodating sometimes.

As far as my love life goes……

if I were to choose to be in a power exchange relationship, then it very much needs to be the former.

However, being Domme is a lot of work. It comes with many benefits and it is satisfying on many levels, but it is still work. The only way for that to not feel like work is to be deeply compelled through infatuation/obsession and it’s very rare for me to feel that. Not impossible or even improbable, simply rare.

I actually really want to start dating again, but almost solely as an experiment on myself. Who am I attracted to? What is my subconscious pushing me towards? I am so very curious to see and gauge my own evolution. Have I progressed at all?

I am resigned to accept wherever it is I am in this journey of healing. I am ready to dole out ample compassion for myself because I am not overly optimistic about where I currently am, truthfully.

Yet I have very thankfully managed to walk myself out of some fires or be pushed/pulled out, I can’t differentiate right now. But how many more times am I willing to put myself through that?

I don’t have answers, only questions and hypotheses.

I’m definitely not ready right this moment to test it. I have things I really want to work on. I have a lot more inner work to do, more healing.

I want to reach a place where I am completely comfortable and absolutely in love with myself, not in a vain and selfish way, but in a very loving and supportive way. I want to be my own biggest fan and have the emotional foundation for myself to be the best I can be, without needing outside assurances of who that is. But knowing for myself who am and being happy and at peace with that.

Who knows where this road of life leads? Right now, I’m going to try to make the most of the time I have in this body, in this time period, in this world. I’m not gonna push forward any agenda of who I am, what the world is, or how things should be.

I’m going to keep to the path that promotes my own inner happiness and remain humble through the many blessings (I hope) life continues to bring me.

And that’s enough for right now. Right?


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “Know exactly what you want or wait and see what presents itself?”

  1. Almost a tough choice, ain’t it? We say to live each day as if it’s going to be our last but that patience is a virtue and in a time where instant gratification remains all the rage, the adage of “he who hesitates is lost” can be rather pointed. Does one take what they can get… or wait for what they want and bypass that which they can have right now and allowing them to be in the moment, to be in the here and now? Tough choice but the one thing that remains true is that life is the only journey that has an ending, that and tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. The trick of it all is for a person to decide which thing suits their purposes – being in the moment and taking things as they come… or sitting back and waiting for something that may never appear? Or, the third choice in this: Patience my ass – I’m gonna make it happen! Be in the moment? To hell with that – I wanted to do (add something here) yesterday!

    Staying on the current path is all well and good… unless doing so isn’t producing the results you’re looking for. Many people take this position and, eventually, become frustrated because that which they’re waiting for never arrives and they know that while they were waiting, other opportunities went right past them. I don’t know about you but that doesn’t work for me since, again, I might not be here tomorrow… and I might not be here by the end of the day… or ten minutes from now.

    Tough choices, huh?

    Liked by 1 person

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