Is it funny, sad, or just plain lunacy?
I don’t even know anymore.
I went to the casino tonight. I walked out about a thousand dollars up and went home with Tony. It was amazing how much we had in common. Shitty childhood. Loveless marriage. Moved around a lot. There’s more, I’m just tired and can’t remember.
He made me dinner and we talked a lot. We made out some, but 2am is late for me. So I excused myself and here I am in bed alone.
He was hard as a rock though. Telling me how sexy I am. Making all those lovely grunting noises I enjoy from a man. Pulling me into him as if I was the last gulp of water in a heat wave.
It was all in all an invigorating evening and the cute dealer even hummed me Cyndi Laupers “True Colors” song.
I had two drinks, one at the casino and one at Tony’s, which is maybe the worst of all the infractions.
Tony is cute. Retired air force. But he’s also married. I think the story about being roommates and staying together for the kids is plausible enough.
He has a nice place. But it’s their home. Her home. Which is why I refused to lay or even sit on their bed. He understood. Fortunately. And didn’t press me to have sex either although he did try.
Which is good with me. It’s like the conversation I had with a guy when I told him I was thinking of going pro Domme. He told me his friend was one and that every single client always tried to have sex with her. I laughed and told him “Cool with me, as long as they know no is no and abide by the rules. Because frankly I think I’d be a little insulted if they didn’t at least try.”
But I’m a strange duck I guess.
Maybe it gets old? I wouldn’t know.
Tony wants me to come back to his house tomorrow. But my plan right now is to stay home stoned all day. I have boxes to get to and I just want a lazy day of nothing and no one. Just me and my thoughts. Loud music, pot and a very long bath.
I should lecture myself at some point about my bad choices in life. But not now. I’m too tired.