I have a life jacket….

It took a Pandemic, a business loss, a job loss, weight gain, school closures, a lawyers help, government housing counseling, and renting out my house to get here.

Well……maybe not all those were imperative. But I’m here. I am financially solvent. Granted I’m living in a basement and have no idea what the future holds, but no complaints.

And as soon as the loan modification comes through, with the renters paying most of the mortgage, that will be a giant relief as well.

So…. right now….. I’m fine.

Why Brad is now showing me wedding rings and retirement accounts and planning on remodeling his house for us to all fit comfortably, while a bit flattering also seems a bit redundant.

Like where was he when I was floundering? Where was he when I was engulfed in uncertainty and completely panicked and flailing about? πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

I guess it’s always nice to have options. And I’m not putting him off, but also….. words are just words. So he can say as he chooses and I will choose to keep living my life without giving his words any more thought.

If and when they become actions I can revisit it. But that part is up to him and I am honestly very confused about this, so I’d rather not think about it at all. That’s just added stress I don’t need right now.

On the plus side. I passed both exams for the county jobs I applied for. The next step is interviews. I should know by next week if I go forward in the process. I’m actually hoping for the 911 job, even though it’s graveyard and being that I sleep in the living room right now we will see how I navigate that, if it comes about.

But the pay is enough to take care of my mortgage, especially since I can turn around and rent out the basement to someone else and have rental income on top of it. And the benefit package is really great too.

The stress of the job is really high and they micromanage you for over a year, where you are completely shadowed; every day, every minute. I mean, the turnover isn’t over 70% for no reason.

But I’m pretty sure I can handle it. Now to see if they can handle me. Lol. No. Jk. But let’s see if the third time is a charm. I thought both my previous interviews were pretty good and yet I didn’t get hired.

So we will see this time. I can’t do much more than that truthfully. I answered the questions honestly. I tried to be as personable as possible. I think this time given the chance I’ll actually try and sell myself more; dress up more and tout myself much more.

That’s not generally my thing, but drastic times call for drastic measures and if they can’t see how wonderful I am, then it’s my job to inform them about it. Right? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰

Because truthfully I just don’t know how much more I can take of basement living and just any other job won’t get me back in my house. Nor will setting up shop in a clinic without a steady flow of clients.

But who knows what will happen. For now I’m just waiting out the pandemic, going in a direction that feels right but mostly just really trying to keep myself and the kids afloat through this all.

And I’m absolutely content with that…. for now.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

4 thoughts on “I have a life jacket….”

  1. indeed the 911 job is stressful esp the night shift . i hope you get what you want and take it slow one day at a time and one call at a time. The training should be very good and helpful. i know here in Chicago it the training is good but high stress job

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chicago. That’s one of the places I want to visit one day. I’d love to see the whole state but should I have to narrow it down….that’s in my top 5.


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