Against the wind


If you find yourself swimming upstream maybe it’s time to revisit your strategy or your destination.

My mother is in the hospital. They think it’s her heart. They are running a battery of tests today. It makes me feel at least a tiny bit less guilty being so far away knowing that even if I was there they wouldn’t let me in to see her.

Then the naturopath doctor I reached out to see if he had space in his clinic for me is gearing up to do missionary work and has already closed his clinic.

Brad wants me to drive to Virginia with him to see his father and spend time with his family. Another time I probably would have jumped at that, especially because I love road trips, but during a pandemic that just sounds irresponsible and I already hate flying……. so I think I am basically just delaying saying no.

He also wants me to lose weight. Which I have to agree with. I had two men flirt with me recently. One while we were both wearing masks, which is so bizarre. But with my weight so high I really don’t feel super sexy right now. Once we get settled downstairs I plan on making it my daily routine to exercise and make healthy homemade meals again. I’m so sick of junk food and sweets.

The loan mediation is on the 20th and I’m feeling very confident about it, optimistic even. They have zero reason to deny me really. Financially I can more than afford to pay my mortgage with renters in the house. Even with me having to make up a portion of the mortgage myself.

eBay is going fairly well and once again I don’t qualify this week for claiming unemployment. Which is starting to be a pain in the ass. They have held me up on claims for over 4 weeks now because of paperwork. Trying to verify how I’m making money. Maybe because they qualified me for unemployment based on losing my part-time job.

But I am strictly self-employed now so the weeks I don’t make money should be based on self employment loss. These are two separate claim systems within the unemployment department. And they can’t just flip flop me from one to the other. So I’m not sure I can still get my claims paid. But this is all me guessing based on their own website information because trying to get a hold of them and ask is almost impossible. So…wait and see.

Brad had told me last year to clean out my garage. I explained that the garage was like my piggy bank if I ever needed flash cash. He didn’t understand, but now he does. I’ve made $400 in the last week selling things on Craigslist. Then the garage sale this weekend. There are things I’ve been wanting to resell for myself that aren’t even going in the sale. He is going to let me store them in his shop for the time being. Until I get going with selling all my clients things, which is a lot right now. 3-4 clients at a time is definitely my limit with just me working on it.

Depending how things go and how the world goes, if garage sales pick back up and thrift stores, auction houses and storage unit sales open up into full swing I may not need to have clients. I can just sell things for myself and clients can be an added bonus. Except I don’t really have space to store a bunch of trinkets. We will see. I definitely would prefer not to work right now, if possible. Until this pandemic starts to really die down at least.

But I say that as I have not one but two applications in for county jobs right now. But those jobs have great benefits and good pay and if I get either one I really can’t turn it down.

Last month I also contacted a local commercial lease company. I asked if they would consider splitting the profit with me on a start-up if I guaranteed that within the year I would be making full rent payments. I wanted to open up an eBay/consignment store. I know the profit potential as I already had a brick and mortar doing that but I don’t have the funds right now to pay rent.

Before I bought this house and started up doing colon hydrotherapy I tried to rent a cute little storefront in old town. I loved the space but the owner refused to rent to me. The place needed serious remodeling. It probably hadn’t seen any updates in 20 years. I asked her to split the updates with me. Pergo floors, all new lighting, fixing the air conditioning. All things that would stay beyond my tenancy. I would obviously pay for any painting and cosmetic changes. But she refused to even negotiate and the place stayed vacant another year longer.

But things happen for a reason. I probably would not have gone on such a healing and spiritual path had I not set out the way I did.

I still have a lot to learn. I have a lot to see. I still feel I am trying to find my way. I know I want to travel and learn and explore my world. I want to delve more into the mystery and mysticism of this universe.

And having tenants will help me be financially able to do so with some much needed space to finally breath a little, instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

So, once we get settled I’m going to take some time to figure out my next step in life or maybe just let life lead me where it wants me to go.

No more running against the wind.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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