“You white people”

I said it today. I said it out loud; not just in my head. I said it and I meant it. And of course the person I said it to (a person of “white” skin) took great offense to it.

I said “you just don’t get it, you white people don’t have anything similar I can point to so I can make you understand how it feels”.

We were talking about Aunt Jemima and nooses. Symbols of oppression and a history people like to shuffle under the rug, within a society that still very much operates with racism built into its every day fabric.

There is no burning cross, white pointy hats or swastika symbols to inspire immediate fear in your body and soul. That remind you of the hatred, vile words and actions that have been tossed at you during your life for no other reason than the color of your skin.

There is no symbol of absolute hatred of you because of something as uncontrollable as an organ of your body.

There just isn’t. There is nothing to equate the level of hatred, violence and every day verbal assaults people of color endure. And that’s just the things that we are aware of. The things said and done to our faces; as opposed to the horrible things said, the opportunities never given and the statistical disproportionality we endure that we aren’t even aware of; simply because our skin tone in darker.

There is nothing I can make someone of white skin and Anglo background feel equivalent to this. Because it simply doesn’t exist.

And I am so sick of having to explain racism and how it feels. How it has affected my life in so many ways. I just can’t do it anymore and all this does is make me want to retreat further away from people; from all people.

It makes me want to retreat further into myself and away from the entire world. It doesn’t make me angry because that’s not how I like to respond to life. But it does make me sad; so very truly, deeply sad.

When it comes down to it, I think I’ve just reached a point in my life where I am truly just so very sick and tired of having to explain the injustices of the world to people. And I just don’t think I have it in me anymore to even try.

And I’m sorry I said what I did. I really am. It was a bit uncalled for. I absolutely know white people aren’t the only racist. White people are not to blame for all the travesties of this world.

Because I blame ALL people for that. I blame hatred, fear, lack of compassion and empathy, hypocrisy, selfishness, egotism, greed, lying and turning a blind eye for the ills of this earth.

And I think right now I am glad I have the opportunity to retreat from the world for a bit. I’m busy enough with my own issues in life to not have to pay much mind to the chaos around me. I think right now I really need to stabilize myself and self soothe. Away from the cacophony of the bullshit going on in the world.

I have just this one life and I can’t let anyone color it in for me. I can’t let the insidious nature of hatred come calling for me, no matter how justified it may seem. Because that just isn’t me.

So I will let this walk be done by people more invested in the narrative than I am. Because those aren’t the bones I want to pick anymore. I’m done, done caring.

Humanity has such a very, very long way to go spiritually and……. it’s a fight few people seem willing to take on; championing for the redemption of their own soul. But all I can do is fight for my own. It’s all I can really do anymore.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

8 thoughts on ““You white people””

  1. As a straight, white cis-male, I just want to send you a note and let you know that some of us are trying to do our best to listen. I’m not trying to be self-congratulatory but to let you know it isn’t a lost cause.

    The argument about “being racist” is a challenging one. There’s an idea that BIPOC can’t be racist and, honestly, I’m tending to agree. Although it has been a struggle for me to really “get it”. Racism is not just about bigotry but about power. And in North America, BIPOC don’t have systemic power. BIPOC can be bigoted and prejudiced but those are individual attributes – racism runs deep in our societies.

    (Note: I hope it is okay I use “BIPOC”. Where I live, Indigenous folks take the brunt of white supremacy so I find the term helpful for my own learning)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I learned a new term. Cool. Thanks for informing me.

      I never looked at it that way. Racism implies power and bigotry does not. Nuanced but noteworthy distinction.

      And please do be self congratulatory. Self reflection and trying are absolutely commendable. Truly.

      Because not all people understand or even try to understand and that is the first step to bridging any gap.

      Kudos to you.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “You people” is, obviously, a bad phrase to utter and, yep, I’ve heard it so many times that I no longer pay any attention to it. The amazingly sucky part is that racism can be just as internal as it is external and it’s like we – humans – have not ever learned to stop hating an entire race of people just because one person did something they didn’t like or whatever.

    And I’ll say it: The folks going on and on about Black lives mattering seem to have conveniently forgotten that most of the violence Blacks suffer comes at the hands of other Blacks. We can get up in arms about the police doing shit… but when it comes to stopping the violence against our own people? Where are the protests? Why isn’t the media reporting on the major push to stop Black on Black violence? The answer is pretty obvious, huh?

    All anyone can do is to not get caught up in any form of racism and continue to avoid it as best they can.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Continue to avoid it as best we can. Yep.

      Not to mention that there is a huge class issue at play and poor white, blacks and other minorities are pitted against each other for whatever scraps they can get. And the violence between those groups is also not called out.

      There are just so many travesties in this world and I can’t see a better way to start to solve them than within. Guarding against our own prejudices and hate. That’s what I’m going to focus on. That’s where I have the most control.

      Liked by 1 person

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