I’ve been thinking of this a lot actually. I truly have. And it still scares me a little truthfully.
I’m genuinely a bit conflicted about it.
But at the same time I know I want to press on, learning as much as I can. And now I will have time to do that. If I take the time. Make it either a priority or part of my self care regimen to learn something or go to an event at least once every month.
Because the closer I get to fully understanding myself and the closer I get to feeling this deep connection to spirit the more alive I feel inside.
The most truly content.
And that is worth all the money in the world. Isn’t it?
Maybe it will help get me back in my house too? But at the same time I don’t know where I’m going with it. I don’t know in what capacity I want to start healing, but I do feel I need to learn more as well. I feel I need a stronger connection to learn certain facets I feel I still lack. To test myself on solid ground with people that I can feel safe with.
Even though I still did freak out that one lady at that Pranic Healing class. Lol. But hey, I wasn’t the Reiki Master who’s energy was turning the lights on and off. Everyone was pretty amazed by that and to me it seemed perfectly normal.
But 🤷🏽♀️ Lol
We do family therapy. I enjoy it. The girls have all been stressed. We have a big change coming and this pandemic and just all the confusion in the world right now.
So we all enjoy it. The therapist makes it mostly fun, sometimes eye opening, sometimes we get emotional.
But we played a game and she asked us all one thing we want to learn and I said more energy work, like Reiki or Pranic Healing, I want sure if she would understand just energy work or even knew about the ones I named.
But when I said it out loud I realized I really do want to pursue that further and while I would enjoy going as far as being ordained as something, a minister type figure. Because I have actually always wanted to study theology and pastoral studies. Since I was 20 years old I had my first deep calling to it. Everyone thought I was kidding though and I didn’t have the money or credit to do it myself.
But that pull has come back many times in my life, as recently as 4 years when I first got divorced I looked at going to Marylhurst University to study to be a pastor. But I didn’t think I had enough money to go or energy to work full time and go to school and parent three daughters.
So I laughed it off. But even if I never do anything formal like that, which I just can’t see going to formal school for anymore. Not even for naturopathy, which I think I would be kick ass at. Lol But I do want to be something to do with energy and spiritual healing. I think it would be very cool; very cool indeed. Even if just for me and my family.
I know I’m always all over the place. There seems little method to my madness and sometimes my life seems to be going “off the rails”. I do always appreciate the ease I do get and heartily wish for more. But I do realize some I create or let be created for me. But some I also can’t escape from.
But I know we all have our own circus’ to run. Don’t we? 😂