Is it odd that things that some people consider stalkerish I find endearing and make me feel very loved and comforted?
Is it bad that I can still watch Twilight and get a yearning for that kind of intensity? I can’t explain it but that kind of depth breaths life into me. It awakens me. It touches me deeply.
Maybe I should talk to my therapist about this. But…….how I see it. Life is too short to live superficially, glossing over things, not paying much attention, not feeling much of anything.
I think I’m still a partial idiot. Lol. I am able to fully admit it. But I think age has taught me that ultimately, what it comes down to is that it has to be beneficial for me. It’s not about someone being “worthy”of me, because that’s fucking ridiculous. It’s about being healthy together, it’s about the other person bringing out the best in you and vice versa and being truly devoted.
And I’ve decided that single and having fun when I can, even if I sometimes have to spend a few very sad and lonely nights alone is better than with someone I’m truly not meant to be with.
I think this makes sense. It does to me at least. 🤷🏽♀️