Woke up early to take my daughter to have two ingrown toenails partially removed. So much blood! 🤢
Shipped off three 50+ pound boxes full of doll accessories I sold for a client on ebay. This is what my studio looked like a few hours ago.
Was told by my daughter’s shrink that I need to step up more. She told me sometimes parents have to give up some self care to make sure their children’s needs were met. I cried. I told her this was my best right now.
I don’t even have the time or energy for my own self care. I eat, shower and sleep; hardly call that an indulgent self care regimen. The only time I do anything for myself right now is when their father has them.
By the end of our conversation though she was giving me suggestions on how to take better care of myself and telling me what a good job I’m doing. She told me to reach out to my own therapist who I haven’t seen in a few months and I do miss terribly. So….. I guess we’re good. 🤷🏽♀️
I am reapplying for a loan modification. I am also taking names and contact info for possible renters for the house via a craigslist ad. My gofundme is up to $1100. If for whatever reason I don’t end up being able to keep the house I will return the money. I’m not taking this lightly. Asking people for help makes me feel very indebted to them and their goodwill and I don’t want to do anything to mar that.
This is not free money. I mean yes technically it is, but if I can’t use it to save my house then I am not keeping it. It still feels so strange to tell so many people about my situation. It’s one thing telling you all my problems and situation and quite another to tell all my acquaintances and online “friends” and family. People that had no idea what my situation was before I just posted on my facebook feed a call for help.
It feels very odd to say the least and still a bit uncomfortable. Interestingly, one of the first people to give was my ex-mil. Which I found very sweet. No matter what our differences have ever been over the years she has always stood behind me, as far as being a good mother. I didn’t even mention I started a gofundme to me ex at all, although I think he still reads my blog. 🤷🏽♀️
I am so tired. It feels like I’ve run a marathon today. And I still have an emergency client on the way for a colonic. Which meant a full clean up of my studio to get ready.
But it’s sunny and beautiful outside now. It’s going to rain in a few days so I think tomorrow I’ll go sit in the yard a while. That always makes me feel good.
Hope you all are enjoying your day.