I have clients booked the next 5 days, plus the 60 eBay listings ending this week. It’s nice to have some income coming in. It’s been a really bleak few months and worse yet; it looks like I don’t qualify for a PPP loan.
They’ve discontinued the FEMA disaster relief loans for self employed and I have yet to see if I qualify for (the special self employment) unemployment benefits. I applied over 3 weeks ago and have yet to hear back.
None of which is at all reassuring. I also applied for a few grants but who knows when I’ll hear back, one of them said by September. September!! 🙄🙄🙄
But I’m plugging along. Getting the things done I need to do, one step at a time. They are opening up the local yoga studio, but you’re required to wear a mask. It’s hot yoga. You can barely catch your breath without a mask. No way am I doing that.
I hope the gym doesn’t require them when it reopens. Because there is no way I’m wearing a mask to workout. Maybe it’s my slight claustrophobia or my asthma but I really feel I can’t breath with them on. I can handle it for a little bit. 30 minutes or so and then I start feeling slightly light headed, let alone trying to work out in one. Hats off to the people that have to work in them all day. Truly!
Overall I am pretty happy. Most people in my position would probably feel very stressed out with all this looming financial uncertainty and potentially moving to who knows where and who knows when. Losing my house, my business and everything I’ve worked so hard for, for almost 3 years now. The stability I was working so hard to achieve for my children and I.
But I have to keep focusing on the positives. I have to keep being thankful for what I do have. I have to keep my head up, my heart open, hope strong and lean in to whatever decent opportunities life opens up for me.
I still firmly believe everything happens for a reason. I still believe a lot in life is not about what happens to you as much as how you respond to it; who you are, your values, your actions, your ideals, what you stand for. And I have to keep moving forward doing the best I can and making the most of what is presented to me in this reality. Good, bad or indifferent; this is what I have to contend with.
And I’m ok with it. It isn’t perfect. Not even close. But it’s mine. And I’m going to choose to focus on the good and I’m going to keep trying to be me, authentically me. It’s all I can really be and that’s good enough. It really is.
And I’m going to try and leave this place a better place for having me in it. And maybe someone, somewhere, at some point in time will give me an A for effort… or maybe not. I’m fine with it either way really. Lol